A Bully Or A Blessing?

Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.

“Some people might wear that brand, but I wouldn’t be caught dead in it.” Abby’s comment was loud enough for Miriam to hear two desks over.

Miriam felt her body flush warm with embarrassment as she realized she was wearing a T-shirt from the brand Abby and her friends were loudly discussing. Everyone who could hear Abby’s comment could see that Miriam was wearing a shirt with that logo on it.

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that brand,” Katie said suddenly. “If someone likes it, why shouldn’t they wear it?” Katie smiled at Miriam, and Miriam smiled back, grateful for Katie’s friendship. Abby’s opinion suddenly didn’t feel so important after all.

Was Abby being mean? Yes. Abby might defend herself by saying that she wasn’t talking to Miriam and might even argue that she wasn’t even talking about Miriam because she didn’t use her name. But everyone who heard the comment knew it was meant to be hurtful to Miriam.

When people use subtle insults like Abby did, this is a kind of bullying. And because this kind of bullying can be more easily hidden from adults, some girls become very, very good at insulting girls they are angry with or don’t like in this way.

The book of James reminds us that the words we speak are powerful. We have the choice to encourage people or hurt them, and choosing to hurt others is a sin. Being mean in sneaky ways is just as wrong as insulting someone directly. Let’s use our mouths to bless and stand up for others—instead of tearing them down.

Things to Think About

• Think of a time someone bullied you with subtle insults. What did they say? How did you feel? What did others who overheard the conversation say?
• What can you choose to say the next time you hear someone being a sneaky bully? How might you stand up for the person they are insulting? What adult could you tell?

DAILY ACT OF FRIENDSHIP

Listen for sneaky bullying at your school, at your church, or with your friends. Speak up when someone is being subtly insulted.