Being Trustworthy

A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.

“Did you hear that Nisa got a D on the math test?” Even as the words were leaving Mei Hau’s mouth, she knew she had made a mistake.

Ugh! Why did I say that? Mei Hau wished she could rewind the last ten seconds of her life. She hadn’t meant to tell the group of girls at the lunch table about the low grade her friend had gotten on the test. The words had just slipped out as they were talking about how hard Mr. Smith was as a math teacher and how challenging his tests were. Mei Hau felt terrible. She had exposed her friend’s weakness in math to others who weren’t even her friends.

It’s too easy to share information that isn’t flattering or kind, even if it is the truth. Many girls thoughtlessly do this all the time, probably without really considering their words. Our culture tells us that if something is true, it’s okay to share. But that’s not how Jesus wants us to act.

It is important to guard our tongues and not expose the hard parts of our friends’ stories to teasing or mockery. If we’ve been entrusted with information that makes a friend vulnerable, we need to guard that information and protect her by not sharing it.^a A good way to determine whether or not you should share something is to ask yourself the following questions:

• Is it true?
• Is it kind?
• Is it necessary?

If the answer is no to one or more of those questions, you should most likely not share. Proverbs reminds us that the best policy is to let people share their own stories—that way we won’t accidentally reveal something hurtful. By contrast, asking questions and genuinely listening to another’s story is a great way to start a conversation, and it’s a great way to learn something new about the people around you.

Things to Think About

• Has someone ever shared information about you that you wish hadn’t been shared? Did you continue to trust her with personal information?
• Think of a time you shared information you shouldn’t have. How do you think the other girl may have felt?

DAILY ACT OF FRIENDSHIP

Instead of telling a story about another person, practice asking questions that invite those around you to tell their stories. Oftentimes, people love to share their stories if you express interest.