What Is She Not Saying?

Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord.

“Where’s Maya?” LaTasha’s mom asked as she walked through the door.

“She said she doesn’t want to walk me home anymore,” LaTasha said.

“How come?”

LaTasha looked at the floor instead of her mom’s eyes. “I guess I teased her about liking a boy in our class.” Then she quickly added, “But it wasn’t a big deal, Mom. I don’t know why she was so upset about it.”

“It must have been a big deal to her if she said she doesn’t want to walk home with you anymore. Even if you don’t think it’s a big deal, if it seems like it’s upsetting your friend, it’s time to stop. We need to be sensitive to the feelings someone is showing and not just their words.”

As her mom spoke, LaTasha began to see how her friend Maya had been showing signs of being upset long before she had said anything. Immediately LaTasha felt ashamed for not noticing it earlier.

“It’s okay,” her mom said. “That’s all part of learning and growing up. Now that you know, just go back to her, apologize, and make it right.”

And that’s just what LaTasha did the very next day.

We can all miss the nonverbal things friends are saying, but it’s important for us to watch how others react to our words and stay sensitive to how they may be feeling, even when they don’t say it out loud. We need to ask ourselves: Do they appear upset? Are they laughing with me or have they become quiet? Someone’s behavior is often just as important as the words they share. If we want to be a good friend to others, we need to read their body language as well as listen to their words.

As girls who love Jesus, we are meant to live at peace with others. Noticing their reactions to our words and asking forgiveness for offenses when necessary is all part of living a godly life.

Things to Think About

• Have you thought about the ways people react without saying a word?
• What kinds of things do people say with their nonverbal cues? How would you know if you were hurting someone’s feelings even if they didn’t tell you?

DAILY ACT OF FRIENDSHIP

Notice the way your friends respond to your words with their nonverbal reactions. Adjust what you say to show you care.