Friendships Should Be Easy

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13, ESV)

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2, ESV)

There are so many milestones in life: learning to ride a bike, mastering a good essay for school and having a good rhythm for paying our bills on time. But there is never a finish line for friendship. There is not a class where you can achieve an A that proves you are bound for friendship success.

As adults, we assume there will come a point where we can check a box that says, “I have figured out friendship”— and then move forward without any bumps or bruises in our relationships. But when we reach certain milestones and still feel behind in our friendships, it can become discouraging.

We place the blame on others for not being a good friend. We place the blame on God for not giving us the community we think we deserve.

We may even place the blame on ourselves—believing we are “uncool” or “not worthy of friendship” because we haven’t secured our ride-or-dies by age 21, 30, 45, etc.

The lie is that friendship should be easy, when deep down we know friendship is costly. We’re quick to raise our hands when asked if we want deep, quality friends—but when we hear what that actually requires, we slowly put our hands down. “I can’t sign myself up for that,” we think. “I just want people to like me and invite me to things.”

However, Scripture shows us that friendship requires laying down our lives for our friends. This means sacrificing our comforts and our time:

• We sit with friends who are hurting.
• We serve our friends who are sick.
• We celebrate our friends achieving something we are still praying about for ourselves.
• We share hard things, trusting that we won’t be judged for it.
• We make time to watch a show with a friend who needed someone to be with them that day.

And we do this because Jesus laid his life down for us. He counted the cost and chose to give up everything so we could be brought back into a right relationship with him. The cost was worth it.

I can promise you—the cost of friendship will be worth it. That doesn’t mean there won’t be bad days. It doesn’t mean you won’t ever feel lonely again. It doesn’t mean your social insecurities will fall away. But you can rely on Jesus who understands rejection and chose love.

You may never achieve “easy friendship,” but the cost of godly friendship provides a rich reward. May you experience a taste of God’s love through the gift of being a good friend.

Prayer:

Lord, I am struggling in my friendships because they feel taxing and discouraging. I am exhausted from trying to be a friend and not experiencing community the way I had hoped. Help me to align my expectations with Your Word and trust in Your timing for a good friend. Amen.