Worried About Worrying - 50 Days of Hope
Worried About Worrying Before I had cancer I really wasn’t much of a worrier. When people would tell me they were worried about something, I would very sensitively tell them, “Well, just don’t think about it.” After my diagnosis, I became a professional worrier. It’s hard not to worry when people are always feeling you for lumps and checking you for recurrences. At one point shortly after I finished my chemo, I found a lump on my neck. (This came soon after I talked with a friend who’d had thyroid cancer.) I kept pressing on this lump, and sure enough, it got sorer and sorer. When I went for my next recheck with Marc, I mentioned the sore lump. He felt it and politely told me, “Quit pressing on this lump or you will die. You’re pressing on your carotid artery and you’re cutting off the blood supply to your brain!” I worried about other things, like my husband being widowed again and my daughters growing up without a mother. I worried that each holiday was my last and that I would never feel normal again. I knew it wasn’t good to worry, so I worried because I worried so much. But it’s hard to stop worrying. The more I tried not to think about cancer, the more I thought about it. I remember the first day I didn’t worry about cancer. It was a couple of months after my diagnosis, and I was a newspaper reporter engrossed in a story I was writing on my laptop. All of a sudden I looked at my watch with amazement—I had gone a whole two hours without thinking about cancer. That was the beginning of my learning the secret to not worrying: something else has to occupy my mind. Philippians 4:8 says: Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. When other thoughts came into my mind, worrisome thoughts, I asked myself if they fit these criteria: true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy. If not, I pushed them out and replaced them with a thought that did. For me it was usually one of God’s promises from His Word. When you want to empty your mind of worry, you have to have something encouraging to put in its place. Another way to combat worry is not to look too far down the road. Holocaust survivor Corrie ten Boom wrote, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.” That is so true. When the phrase “what if” pops into your mind, you know peace is about to leave you. About 90 percent of the things I worried about never came true. Most of the what-ifs never happened. In April 1997 I was faced with a possible what-if. An episode of irregular vaginal bleeding led to a sonogram, which showed a growth wrapped around my ovary. “Probably just a benign cyst”—which I have a history of. “We’ll watch it for three months,” my gynecologist said, and I agreed. But a couple of days later, she called me back at work. “I discussed your case with my colleagues, and they all feel this is an abnormal growth and it needs to come out,” she said. “What do you think it is?” I asked. “Probably nothing,” she said, “but it could be ovarian cancer or a recurrence of the colon cancer.” I felt my stomach tightening. I tried to remain calm and nonchalant. “We’ll need to have a general surgeon on hand in case it is a colon recurrence and you need more surgery,” she added. We went over pre-op details and I hung up. All of the worries and fears I thought I had conquered after almost seven years were back. In my job as a patient advocate, I encourage patients emotionally and spiritually, reminding them that God can be trusted no matter what the circumstances. Now I would find out again if I could trust Him in spite of my circumstances. It took me about forty-eight hours, but I remember sitting in my bedroom and saying to God, “Okay, I don’t like this one bit. I think it stinks. I don’t want to die, and I don’t want to go through more chemo. But God, You have proven Yourself so faithful in my life and have blessed me so much through my cancer experience, I would be nuts not to trust You now. So whatever is ahead, I know You are in control and I trust You.” Peace immediately flooded my mind. (P.S. The tumor was benign.) The mind of a cancer survivor—your mind—needs to find peace. My prayer for you today is that you would experience the peace of God as the apostle Paul writes in Philippians 4:6-7 (THE MESSAGE): Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Amen. (Still feeling a little anxious? Turn to appendix 3 (see below) for more hopeful verses on the subject.)
When Worries Make You Sweat the Small (and Big) Stuff
Worry weighs a person down;
an encouraging word cheers a person up.
Proverbs 12:25
Refuse to worry, and keep your body healthy.
Ecclesiastes 11:10
If God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? So don’t worry about these things, saying, “What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?” These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.
Matthew 6:30-32
Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?
Luke 12:25-26
Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Matthew 6:34
