What Does Thankfulness Have To Do With Happiness?

What does thankfulness have to do with happiness?

Let them sacrifice thank offerings and tell of his works with songs of joy. Psalm 107:22, NIV

When someone continually talks about how happy they are, I tend to doubt them; but when they talk about how grateful they are, I know they have found happiness. ROB HAWKINS

I HEARD A STORY OF someone who asked a man why he was so happy. The man picked up a binder filled with hundreds of handwritten pages and explained, “Every time someone does something kind for me, I write it in this book. And every time I feel very good about something, I write it in this book.”

The questioner said, “I wish I could be as happy as you.”

“If you kept a book like this, you would be.”

“But the book is so big . . . I haven’t had many kind things done for me, and I haven’t felt good very often.”

“I might have thought that too, if I hadn’t recorded them all. I’ve learned to see and remember and be grateful for kindness and happiness when they come. Try it. Every time you doubt, read your entries and you’ll see all you have to be grateful for.”

There are always reasons to be thankful. Matthew Henry, the Puritan preacher and Bible commentator, made this statement after a thief stole his money: “Let me be thankful first because I was never robbed before; second, although they took my purse, they did not take my life; third, because, although they took my all, it was not much; and fourth, because it was I who was robbed, not I who robbed.”^a

Before church, I sometimes speak with a man who has faced difficult life circumstances: his son died, he’s battled cancer, he lost his job, and he’s feeling the pains of old age. But the smile on his face is genuine. He speaks of the goodness of God and how grateful he is for Jesus, his Savior. He’s a truly happy man. I enter the church service feeling I’ve already met with the Lord and heard a great message, all from my encounter with this brother.

One weekend I walked through our church parking lot and asked another man how he was doing. He launched into a litany of complaints that continued through the hallways and foyer as we headed to worship. He was profoundly unhappy.

He answered my question honestly. But just because a perspective is transparently shared doesn’t mean it isn’t in dire need of adjustment.

These two men taught me a lesson I’ve seen thousands of times: with gratitude there’s happiness; without it, there’s unhappiness. Every time.

In the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15, when the younger brother returns home to much rejoicing, the older brother questions his father’s actions. The older brother is full of complaints, revealing his proud, ungrateful heart. In the same way, whenever we believe that our heavenly Father is mismanaging our lives and treating others better, we’re demonstrating arrogance and ungratefulness. The older brother was as unhappy in his self-righteousness as the younger brother had been in his immorality. But because the prodigal repented and welcomed his father’s grace, he was now forgiven, restored, and happy. Yet the older brother, offended by grace and poisoned by ingratitude, remained unhappy.

While researching my novel Dominion in 1995, I spent time in Jackson, Mississippi, with legendary pastor, author, and civil rights activist John Perkins. At the age of sixteen, John’s brother was shot on the streets by a deputy sheriff and died in John’s arms. Twenty years later, John was tortured in a Mississippi jail cell while his wife and children stood outside hearing his cries. But John’s heart is full of grace and forgiveness, and he’s been a pioneer in racial reconciliation.

John walked me through the streets of Jackson, telling me story after story, giving credit to Jesus. He took me into a thrift store, where he found an old hat on sale for twenty-five cents. He tried it on for me, flashed his big smile, and asked how it looked. I told him it looked snazzy. John just couldn’t get over finding this hat—and at such a great price. I’ll never forget his sheer delight at this treasure he’d discovered. It seemed not to occur to him that this very thrift store was under the umbrella of one of the ministries he’d launched.

John and I waited in line, and once at the counter, John handed the girl a quarter, beaming at his find. Recognizing the founder of the ministry, she was surprised and said, “Dr. Perkins, there’s no charge for you!”

But John refused to accept special treatment. He insisted she take the quarter and proudly put on his hat. You’d have thought he’d found a priceless treasure!

Every time I looked at John Perkins throughout the day, it made me smile. Even now, decades later, I’m smiling. It was such a little thing, yet it brought such happiness for a man who, in all the sorrows of life and in the greatness of his cause, has never diminished his God-centered appreciation for life’s smallest joys.

Good days pleasantly surprise the humble. Even on a difficult day, their hearts overflow with gratitude. They’re happy because while most people think they deserve better than what they receive, the grateful truly believe that by God’s grace they’ve received better than they deserve.

God, eternity won’t be long enough to thank you for all you’ve given us and all you will give us in the ages to come. May we not wait until we see you for our every breath to be filled with gratitude for the saving work of Jesus . . . along with every secondary gift you give us. May our hearts overflow with gratitude to you each day!