Give God Time

Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act.

ON THE SAME DAY, two women called me. Their names were different, but their stories were nearly the same.

Both had husbands who were inattentive to their needs. Neither husband was helpful in parenting their young children or working around the house. Both felt their dreams were being crushed. Both felt devalued. Neither was abused in any way. Both were in a midlife transition of their own, trying to find themselves and blaming their husbands for their own discontent.

My advice was the same: “Focus on your own growth. Don’t wait for your husband to be your cheerleader. He might not be able to do that because of issues in his own life. Pray and ask God to meet your needs. Also start praying for your husband. For the sake of your children, don’t just abandon the relationship. Pray and give God time to work.”

A year later I got an email from one of the women. She had ignored my advice, left her husband and children in the middle of the night, and fled to the arms of a lover. Now she was in a huge custody battle for her children. By her own admission, her children were now unhappy because she had chased a dream for happiness.

A few weeks later the other woman called. She relayed her own journey: “I was looking to my husband to meet a need only God could fill. As I let God redefine me and remake me, I found my husband was really a pretty nice guy after all. My kids are doing so great—probably because I’m not such a control freak anymore!”

This woman now helps other women find contentment in God alone. Statistics say that when couples experiencing great marital discord stay together even if they don’t “feel” happy, within five years they rate their marriage as happy or very happy.

Give God time.