The Space Between - A Minute of Presence for Women
The Space Between
I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit wrestling in a space so small you can’t see it. It’s that space no wider than a breath between faith and fear. Between faith in a God who loves me beyond reason, and fear of whatever force or feeling I’ve allowed to become bigger than that love.
You’d think after all this time I’d be less cowed by Satan’s lies. But the evil one never stops whispering them, and sometimes, even against my better judgment, he suckers me again. Sometimes I believe him when he says, “You’re not good enough” or “You can’t have what your heart most desires.” Sometimes I still expect the worst, although I know God’s intentions for me—even in the most difficult of circumstances—are nothing but good.
But then I spent two days watching the good that can happen in that mysterious space between faith and fear. I went to see a cowboy work with horses whose fear kept them from the kind of relationship their owners hoped to forge with them. This cowboy didn’t avoid the horses’ fears; he worked through them, moving in until he somehow sensed a horse’s confidence had overcome its need to run. Several times he held his hand close enough to touch a skittish horse but didn’t. Not until he knew his touch would be welcomed and received. “Put your heart in your hand when you touch your horse,” he instructed. I’ve thought a lot about those words.
Jesus came to me with his heart in his hand. His love felt utterly overwhelming yet completely safe. And day after day he helps my cautious, halting unbelief. He helps me believe that he works all things together for good as I love him and see his purpose. He helps me believe that he will never leave me or forsake me, even if I disappoint him badly. And he helps me believe that he is living water and life-giving bread and the kind of shepherd who did not hesitate to lay down his life for his sheep.
Mostly, he helps me believe that I, too, can move toward fear with my heart in my hand—closing that sliver of space between with settled confidence in nothing less than his own everlasting love.
As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you.
John 15:9, NIV
