Homemade Gods

All the people took off their earrings and brought them to Aaron. He took what they handed him and made it into an idol cast in the shape of a calf, fashioning it with a tool.

Have you ever heard a “big fish” story—where a fisherman’s prize catch grows with each retelling of the story until it’s the size of Moby Dick? If we’re honest, we’re all prone to exaggeration of that sort. We overestimate our abilities. We add drama to our stories. Our worries grow big and take on a life of their own.

The Israelites struggled with the same habit, especially as they grieved Moses’ departure up Mount Sinai to receive God’s law. Without him around, their doubts about God’s faithfulness began to grow. In response, Moses’ brother Aaron offered his own practical solution: idolize the ordinary when you struggle to fix your gaze on the extraordinary.

Inevitably, we, too, have created idols in our grief. Whether we’ve idolized our person or idolized the past, we’ve all been guilty of melting down the life we had and refashioning it into a story that we thought could take away the sadness. Like a big fish story gone awry, we’ve convinced ourselves at one time or another that the past was bigger and better. Instead of sitting with our sadness, we’ve tried to fix it by creating something larger than life.

As we grieve with honesty, God calls us to leave our homemade gods behind. He asks us to reject blind worship of the past. He invites us to see the people and events of our lives for what they truly are. God commands us to worship him alone, not any lifestyle we’ve lost or person we miss or future we’d hoped to secure. Admittedly, it’s a tough request when we’re grieving; but God’s call to honest, faithful worship orients us toward the one Source that will tell the truest story of who and whose we are.

Today, as you remember your person, be honest about his or her failures or successes. Don’t lionize or demonize. Resist the temptation to create idols that replace God at the center of your heart. Your grief offers the opportunity to recommit yourself to following God alone.

Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD their God.

And now here’s what I want you to do: Tell the truth, the whole truth, when you speak. Do the right thing by one another, both personally and in your courts. Don’t cook up plans to take unfair advantage of others. Don’t do or say what isn’t so. I hate all that stuff. Keep your lives simple and honest.

A Prayer: Dear Jesus, when I think about life before my loss, I confess that I tend to tell myself an edited story of the past. I create little idols in my life to fill the space that grief has made. However, I know that these attempts will never bring true solace to my heart. Only your truth can set my spirit free to live fully again. Forgive me. As I remember my person, help me to be honest. As I grieve, keep me from shaping false gods. Enliven me to worship you alone. Amen.

An Activity for Today: Acknowledging mortality and finitude is an ongoing exercise in grief work. Today, if you are able, visit the cemetery where your person is buried. Simply sit in your car or beside the grave and practice rest. If you are unable to visit the cemetery because of distance or other complexity, take a moment and fill in the stone on this page. After listing your person’s name and dates of birth and death, what would you add if you were asked to design it—a picture, a lyric from a song, a Bible verse? Draw this imaginary stone for your person, thanking God for their life and entrusting them to him in death.

A Song to Encourage Your Heart: “I Glory in Christ” by Sandra McCracken