It Takes A Village

Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me.

Every year Hollywood awards ceremonies offer us a fascinating display of thankfulness. Celebrities walk across stages to celebrate their accomplishments, and as they stand in the spotlight alone, almost every famous actor or singer says the same thing: “I couldn’t have done this without . . .” While fame and fortune may fall upon only a few, every artist knows that movies and music are collaborative ventures. Many helpers stand just beyond the stage light. They may not receive the applause, but they are indispensable to the art’s success. To borrow a popular phrase, it takes a village to make a hit movie.

First Samuel 25 chronicles the story of David’s conflict with Nabal. Nabal was a hothead landowner who insulted David, and David’s first impulse was to fight back. Abigail, Nabal’s wife, knew better, though. After years of living with her foolish husband, she understood that fighting fire with fire only resulted in everyone being burned. Instead, she wisely advised David toward peace, gently correcting and redirecting him. Her counsel convicted David of his sinful ambitions, saved people from bloodshed, and pointed David toward actions that would bring God glory instead of dishonor. Abigail knew it took a loving, truth-telling village to raise a king.

It takes a village to raise us, too, as we build new lives after loss. Contrary to the Western image of the cowboy riding the range alone, we were built for relationships, and we thrive when we enjoy their comfort, support, and encouragement. Supportive relationships keep our heads above water when we feel like we’re drowning in sorrow. They keep us walking toward new life when we’d rather sit by the side of the road and give up. And they speak truth to us when we need to hear it most.

All of us need more than yes-men on our support teams. We need Abigails, too—those wise friends who can offer an honest, firm, corrective word that directs us toward new life. Like an artistic director in a movie or an Abigail in the desert, these supporters offer us important outside perspectives that can help us see more clearly. They aren’t critical; they’re corrective. They’re not callous; they’re caring. Today, thank God for your team of support, even the ones who deliver words that are sometimes hard to hear. Thanks be to God that it takes a village to raise a grieving person! He doesn’t leave us to walk this hard road alone.

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

These are the things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgment in your courts.

A Prayer: God, I admit that I prefer to hear only encouraging words. I don’t respond well to critique. I’m sensitive to being told I might be wrong. However, I know that you’ve placed friends in my life who speak true, hard, and honest words. Thank you for their presence, even when I don’t want to hear what they have to say. Today, Lord, teach me to receive exhortation with a gracious spirit. Help me to see myself as others see me. Let my relationships be as iron sharpening iron, making me more like you. Amen.

An Activity for Today: Hopefully, you’ve had many folks help you since your person died. Friends have sent cards and meals. Family has offered emotional support. We need this circle of care to help us live and thrive again. But did you know that your participation in that circle of care can also boost your resilience? Research has shown that people who help others feel happier, their overall moods are more stable, and they experience a stronger sense of well-being. Today, extend some of the comfort you’ve received from the Lord through your circle of support. Help a friend with a task. Volunteer to sit in the yard and weed with your neighbor. Pick up your nephew from school as a help to your sibling. Make cookies for an elderly person in your church who has been laid up with illness. Grief can make our worlds feel very small, but compassion can open them up again. Ask God to help you see, through your acts of service, how big your world actually is.

A Song to Encourage Your Heart: “To Tell the Truth” by Sovereign Grace Music