Not Good

Not Good

It is not good for the man to be alone.

Genesis 2:18

IN CAST AWAY, Tom Hanks plays a successful FedEx executive who is on a flight that unexpectedly goes down over the ocean.^a Tom is the only survivor of the crash,^b and he ends up on a deserted island.^c He spends four isolated years on this island. His only friend is a volleyball with a bloody face drawn on it. Tom becomes very attached to it, but it’s not really a great companion. I mean, you wouldn’t want to take it to the prom or anything like that.

Tom tries to adjust and build a happy life for himself on the island. After all, his mama always told him, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. But he finds that task impossible.

You know how movies will sometimes have subtitles? Like Rambo 17: The Final Fury, or Dumb and Dumber To: We Should Have Stuck with Just One. Well, I think this Tom Hanks movie should have been titled Cast Away: It Is Not Good for Man to Be Alone.

Alone

The Bible begins with God creating, and it’s clear that he’s enjoying the process. In fact, each time God creates, he celebrates with a bit of a touchdown dance. God creates light, land, and water, and for each thing God creates, he takes a moment to declare that it is good. It’s almost as if he gives himself a congratulatory high five.

Then God gets to the pinnacle of his creative genius. He creates a man named Adam. But for the first time, God pauses and says, “There’s something not good here.” Weird. But God specifically diagnoses the problem. “It is not good for man to be alone.” That’s the line. That’s the movie Cast Away. And in that moment, God makes a radical statement about the essential nature of human relationships.

What’s crazy about God’s statement is the timing. Soon something happens that theologians call the Fall. Man sins against God. That rebellion severs man’s ability to do life with God. Sin comes in like a cancer and starts infecting everything.

But that’s later. Before the Fall, man is able to live in perfect relationship with God. That’s why it’s odd that God says Adam is alone and describes his condition as “not good.”

Some say that every person has a God-shaped hole inside that only God can fill. I believe that. I tell people that. But what we seem to learn in Genesis is that every human being also has a people-shaped hole that only people can fill. A hole that even God can’t fill.^d That’s why someone can have a perfect relationship with God and still be called “alone” and in a situation that is “not good.”

You need God. But you also need people. And all the success in the world, all the fame, all the money and possessions cannot replace your need for people.

You were made for community with God and with people. I’m talking about a need that only a deep connectedness will meet. You can live in a busy city surrounded by neighbors, have hundreds of coworkers, and even show up every Sunday to a church full of people but still live out your own Cast Away kind of story.

We need deep relationships, because it is not good for humans to be alone. We weren’t meant to live alone. We were created in the image of God, and God lives in community. If we’re isolated, we are defying our very design. And we will struggle.

The Struggle

We struggle when we are alone, because people don’t grow well in isolation.

It’s so easy to lie to ourselves. We hear the advice that we need to just “follow our hearts,” but God warns us that our hearts are deceitful.^e For instance, I can read the Bible and hypothetically agree with it, but in reality not be applying what I read. But when I have other people who know and love me, they can speak truth into my life, truth I need to hear.

We will also struggle when we are alone, because people don’t recover well in isolation.

There are ups and downs in the Christian life. Well, there are ups and downs in life, and Christians aren’t exempt. I’ve had my fair share of the roller-coaster ride. What I’ve noticed is that typically things are on a pretty even keel. The highs and lows generally don’t last long. But I’ve had two prolonged seasons in the valley. When I look back and try to discern what was different, why I wasn’t able to bounce back, I realize . . . I was isolated.

The Bible says, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”^f You can’t do life alone because when you do, you’ll find that you can’t get up.^g When you experience what’s been called the “dark night of the soul,” you need someone who knows you deeply and who cares enough to talk sense to you, encourage you, and pull you out.

All of this is why “God places the lonely in families.”^h His desire is for every isolated person to find a community of love and support. And because he loves us, God designed that kind of community for us. We call it church.

People will sometimes talk negatively about church today. Some say they don’t need church.

While it is true that no church is perfect, and there are some black eyes in the church’s history, the truth is that most churches are a lot closer to God’s design than they’re given credit for.

And the truth is that we need church.

Just ask Tom Hanks.

Now What?

• Read Acts 2:42-47 and Acts 4:32-35.
• This was a long time ago, so in some ways these people’s lives were very different from ours. However, despite the fact that it may look a little different, we can still have that kind of community in our lives. And that’s the question: Do you have this kind of community in your life? If not, what would be the best way for you to get it? How do you think it would benefit your life? What initiative would you need to take? Take it! If you do have that kind of community, is there anyone who might be alone whom you could invite into your community?
• How about today you pray with someone else? Or, if it’s not possible today, at least schedule a time when you can pray with someone else. It might be with your spouse, your child, a fellow Christian at your job, or someone from your church. You can use this book as an excuse—tell them it’s an assignment you have to do. When you pray with the other person, don’t try to sound super spiritual. Just talk to God like you always do.