I Love Him Anyway

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

Luke 6:32–36

MEG AND PETER HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS. ON Valentine’s Day, Meg went all out, giving Peter his favorite candy, tickets to an upcoming hockey game, and later that night, she wrapped herself in a special outfit purchased for just that occasion.

Peter got her a card.

At the grocery store.

That he purchased on the way home from work.

He didn’t add anything to it either. He just signed it “Peter.” He even forgot to write the word Love.

A couple of days later, Meg tried to explain that she felt a little taken for granted. Apparently, Peter misunderstood her intent because when, two months later, they celebrated their twenty-second anniversary, Peter didn’t get Meg anything.

Meg waited throughout the day, wondering when Peter would bring out the present—but the present never came. Since she had given Peter her present—some rather expensive fishing lures—she knew Peter had to know it was their anniversary. So as they got ready for bed, Meg waited in anticipation, but Peter slipped in beside her and promptly went to sleep.

The next morning, Meg was beside herself. She fretted all day until Peter came home from work, and then she asked, “How could you not get me anything for our anniversary—especially after our conversation about Valentine’s Day?”

“Well, I thought about getting you something, but it didn’t work out,” he replied. “And I knew not to get you a card because you said you didn’t like it last time.”

“It’s not that I didn’t like the card. It’s just that the card alone seemed a little sparse. But even that’s better than nothing.”

Several months later, Meg had a birthday. This time Peter got her a present—a kitchen tool set. Several weeks before, Meg had asked to borrow Peter’s tape measure and screwdriver. Peter figured Meg should have her own small set of kitchen tools so she didn’t have to borrow his.

Meg recounted all this, then explained how she had tried to get her husband to read several how-to books on loving your spouse, but it just didn’t interest him. He’d read the first few pages, lose interest, and never pick up the book again.

“I’ve realized it’s never going to change,” she confessed. “But I love him anyway.”

That last statement—“But I love him anyway”—is one of the most profound theological statements on marriage I’ve ever heard. Most of us base love on “because,” not on “anyway.” I love you “because” you’re good to me. I’ll love you “because” you’re kind, because you’re considerate, because you keep the romance alive.

But in Luke 6:32–36, Jesus said we shouldn’t love “because”; we should love “anyway.” If we love someone because he’s good to us, or she gives back to us, or he’s kind to us, we’re acting no better than your average, everyday, common sinner who lives without the regenerating influence of the Holy Spirit. In essence, Jesus was saying, “You don’t need the Holy Spirit to love a man who remembers every anniversary—not just the anniversary of your marriage but the anniversary of your first date and your first kiss—or who even remembers what you were wearing the first time you saw each other. Any woman could love a man like that. And if you love a husband who is kind and good to you—who lavishes you with gifts, who reciprocates with back rubs, who goes out of his way to get you time off from around-the-house duties, and who is physically affectionate even when he doesn’t want sex in return—well, you’re doing what any woman would do. There’s no special credit in that!

In Luke 6:32–36, Jesus said we shouldn’t love “because”; we should love “anyway.”

“But if you love a man who disappoints you, who may forget an anniversary or two, who can be a little selfish or a little self-absorbed—now you’re loving ‘anyway,’ and that’s what I call my followers to do. In doing that, you’re following the model of the heavenly Father, who loves the ungrateful and the wicked.”

Will you love only “because”? Or are you willing to love “anyway”? Will you love a man or woman who doesn’t appreciate your sacrifice on his or her behalf? Will you love a husband or wife who takes you for granted? Will you love a spouse who isn’t nearly as kind to you as you are to him or her?

If your answer is no, then at least admit this: you’re acting just like someone who has never known the Lord. Almost every faithless marriage is based on “because” love. Christians are called to “anyway” love. That’s what makes us different. That’s what gives glory to God. That’s what helps us appreciate God’s love for us because God loves us “anyway.” He loved us when we rebelled against him. He keeps loving us when we continue to sin against him. He gives and gives—and we take him for granted, the height of ungratefulness. He is eager to meet with us, and we get too busy to slow down and notice him. He is good to us, and we accuse him mercilessly when every little thing doesn’t go just the way we planned it; in other words, we can be wicked.

But God loves us anyway. To love anyway is to love like God and to learn about God’s love for us, who loves the “ungrateful and wicked.”