The Gift Of Fear

I feared the anger and wrath of the LORD.

Deuteronomy 9:19

IF I COULD PREACH ONLY ONE SERMON TO THE CHURCH TODAY, IT WOULDN’T BE about faith. We hear more about faith today than ever before in the history of the church.

It would be about fear.

Moses felt motivated by a godly fear of a holy God: “I feared the anger and wrath of the LORD” (Deuteronomy 9:19). According to the book of Isaiah, Jesus had more than mere wisdom and understanding and knowledge; he also lived with a healthy fear of the Lord (Isaiah 11:2–3).

Biblical fear is more complex and profound than what we usually think of when we use the English word fear. It isn’t defined fully by the words terror and dread. Although it encompasses these emotions, it also carries the idea of a passionate love, the positive desire to please God, and a worshipful awe.^a

God is gracious—yes! God is merciful—absolutely! God is kind and good and loving and caring—no doubt! But it is still a fearful thing to offend God, to fall into his holy hands, for he is a just God with the power and might and will to carry out judgments against those who offend him. Our Lord used this godly fear to root the early church in a proper attitude toward him. Ananias and Sapphira lost their lives when they tried to deceive the apostolic leaders. The surviving community responded just as God intended: “Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events” (Acts 5:11). Keep in mind, this was the church after Pentecost, filled with the Holy Spirit but still needing an appropriate fear to help its members live godly lives.

How does this relate to marriage? It’s directly tied to last week’s devotion. Your heavenly Father-in-Law never takes his eyes off his beloved child. He hears every word uttered in anger toward his children. He sees every act of violence; he witnesses every act of denial, manipulation, and control. Never imagine that he witnesses such assaults with a dispassionate apathy; on the contrary, he feels each slight as though you were persecuting Christ himself.

That’s the truth of Acts 9. Saul thought he was persecuting the Christians, but Jesus made it very personal: “ ‘Who are you, Lord?’ Saul had asked after Jesus called out to him. ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting’ ” (v. 5).

You didn’t marry an orphan; you married a man or woman with a very influential, very powerful, and all-seeing Dad. Based on how you’re loving and caring for your spouse, how happy do you think your heavenly Father-in-Law feels with you? Is he smiling over your extravagant love? Or are you storing up his anger and wrath because of how you’re mistreating his precious son or daughter?

Based on how you’re loving and caring for your spouse, how happy do you think your heavenly Father-in-Law feels with you?

I fully realize that talking about the fear of God seems outdated. Once a pastor told me outright he didn’t believe he should “fear” God but rather “love” him. And yet the Bible is clear that “the church . . . was strengthened. Living in the fear of the Lord and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it increased in numbers” (Acts 9:31).

Listen, I adore God. I feel safe with him. But I also fear him. The biggest changes in my marriage have come from listening to God in prayer, from being chastised and rebuked and encouraged directly by him.

Most of us know by now that physical attraction won’t hold a marriage together. We also realize that the trials of living with a sinner will, in time, temper our romantic affection. But the fear of God—that’s eternal. That lasts. That’s a solid foundation on which to build a lifelong marriage. God hears every conversation. He sees every act of every day. He even reads our thoughts. I might be three thousand miles away from my wife, far from her sight, but the God before whom I promised I’d be faithful is in that hotel room with me.

I’ve come to view the fear of God as a shelter, a covering, a mighty force. I know I’m sinful. I know my own good intentions are far too weak in the face of way too many temptations. I’ve broken promises before, so I know I can break them again. But I’ve also found that my fear of God is growing greater than my rebellion; it reins in my baser instincts. It helps me make choices that lead me to become the type of man I want to be rather than the type of man I despise.

I can’t imagine living a single day without the fear of the Lord—and there’s no way I could contemplate trying to be married without that same covering.