What You Were Born To Do

Is there anything of which one can say, “Look! This is something new”? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.

ECCLESIASTES 1:10

HAS IT EVER OCCURRED TO YOU THAT THE CHALLENGES YOU face as a parent are nearly identical to those faced by parents five hundred years ago? Society has progressed from horses to airplanes, from scrolls to email, and from ale to Starbucks, but we still have to change diapers in the twenty-first century; we still have to deal with late-night vomiting and toddlers’ tantrums. A crying infant is no less irritating to our ears than it was to a mother or father five centuries ago.

The struggles you face as a parent, day in and day out, are not unlike what a woman in Germany faced three hundred years ago, a man in France faced in the Middle Ages, and a couple in Egypt faced over two thousand years ago. Your concerns for your kids’ futures, your anxiety over their health and well-being, your passion for their good and their happiness, and your weariness over the daily tasks of family life are nothing new. An essay by Martin Luther written in the early sixteenth century reminds me of all this:

Now observe that when that clever harlot, our natural reason (which the pagans followed in trying to be most clever), takes a look at married life, she turns up her nose and says, “Alas, must I rock the baby, wash its diapers, make its bed, smell its stench, stay up nights with it, take care of it when it cries, heal its rashes and sores, and on top of that care for my wife, provide for her, labor at my trade, take care of this and take care of that, do this and do that, endure this and endure that, and whatever else of bitterness and drudgery married life involves? What, should I make such a prisoner of myself? O you poor, wretched fellow, have you taken a wife? Fie, fie upon such wretchedness and bitterness! It is better to remain free and lead a peaceful, carefree life.”^a

Luther brilliantly captures history’s (and our current society’s) crass view of family life. Isn’t it amazing how similar this view is to many portrayals of marriage offered today? Hollywood loves to glorify single living and immoral romance, while portraying married life as bitter and boring and even soul destroying. How many movies portray a faithfully married man and woman with children in a positive light? I remember the time we returned from a movie featuring yet another single parent, and our daughter, Allison (who was quite young at the time), looked up at me and said, “Why don’t they ever make a movie about families like ours where the mom and dad like each other and everybody decides to stay together?”

The world has long fought against the nobility of family life because it has long fought against God. The family is God’s design, God’s creation, and God’s idea. It shouldn’t surprise us that a world that hates God will hate his idea of how most of us are called to live. Listen to Luther’s response:

What then does Christian faith say to this? It opens its eyes, looks upon all these insignificant, distasteful, and despised duties in the Spirit, and is aware that they are all adorned with divine approval as with the costliest gold and jewels. It says, “O God, because I am certain that thou hast created me as a man and hast from my body begotten this child, I also know for a certainty that it meets with thy perfect pleasure. I confess to thee that I am not worthy to rock the little babe or wash its diapers, or to be entrusted with the care of the child and its mother. How is it that I, without any merit, have come to this distinction of being certain that I am serving thy creature and thy most precious will? O how gladly will I do so, though the duties should be even more insignificant and despised. Neither frost nor heat, neither drudgery nor labor, will distress or dissuade me, for I am certain that it is thus pleasing in thy sight.”^b

Luther looks at family life as an institution designed and ordained by no less an artist than God himself. When God created marriage as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman, he knew full well the drudgery involved—the work, the pressure, the stress, the conflict. Obviously, he must have had a purpose behind us facing all of this. And since he is our Creator, our Master, and our Lord, we accept his design gratefully, in humility, knowing that what he designed for us must, in the end, be the best for us. In other words, we surrender to family life—with its diapers and duties—because it is the life God has designed for the vast majority of us.

When a man changes a diaper, when a mother puts a child to her sore breasts to feed her, this parent is doing what God created him or her to do, what gives God great delight, what faithful believers have been doing for thousands of years. Let others mock us; let others ridicule us! That’s a small price to pay when our dutiful service brings a smile to God’s face and pleasure to his heart. This is the world as God created it, and living in it rightly brings great joy to him.

Faithful parent, hear me: heaven rejoices in your service and even cheers you on. The world has mocked and will continue to mock our choices and our estate. But we know the God who called us to live as a family, and we are to find our pleasure, our purpose, and our acceptance from him.

You are doing what God created you to do. Look Godward, friend, and be strengthened.

Heavenly Father, from the beginning of this world you created, we have—with much pain, anxiety, and weariness—birthed and raised children. As you sustained prior generations, sustain us, O Lord. Let us receive life as you designed it to be lived. In Jesus’ name, amen.