I Gotta Die

I Gotta Die

Karen Ehman

My son has a fondness for iPod games where a creature has to jump and dart in an effort to stay alive. Often he plays them on our commute to school. As we drive, we review the pick-up instructions for that day: at the middle school after wrestling practice? Or at the high school if there is weight lifting that day? The man cub just keeps playing his game, acting as if he’s not listening. But I know he is.

When we pull up in the carpool line, I inform my boy it’s time to get out of the vehicle. Usually, still engaged in the game, he mutters something like, “Hang on a second, I gotta die.” In other words, I’m still finishing this level. Let my character finish this level until it dies. Then I’ll get out of the car. When he said it this morning, it spoke to my soul.

As a follower of Christ, I am to die to self. But too often, I do not. Instead, I elevate self. I promote self. I think little of the other person and much of me. But before I react, before I hurl a harsh word, pass judgment, speak unkindly to my husband, or snap at my child, perhaps I need to take a deep breath. To pause and ponder. To say in a spiritual sense, Hang on a second, I gotta die.

Die to self.

Die to flesh.

Die to my “rights” that often result in my acting wrongly. Yes, Paul said it best in 1 Corinthians 15: “I die daily.” Does this mean in everything?

When we think of Jesus’ admonition that there is no greater love than to lay down your life for a friend, we may think of the dramatic ways that might happen. We might jump in front of a car to get our friend out of harm’s way. Soldiers might willingly give up their lives on the battlefield. But what if it also means that we learn to die to self in the everyday details of life? In our interactions with others, especially our own families?

These daily, hourly, and even moment-by-moment decisions are difficult! And, if we’re trying to make them in our own strength, they will also be impossible. It’s at these junctures we must draw deep from the power the Holy Spirit offers and let His graced response override our sinful one.

So, the next time you want to react in a way that won’t please God, remember my game-lovin’ son. And before you speak, take a deep breath— a pause that centers your heart, snaps your soul to attention, and declares, Hang on a second, I gotta die.

Dear Lord, may I purpose to die daily, to both act and react in ways that please You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

REMEMBER

When we die to ourselves, we are more able to live effectively for Christ and to love others.

REFLECT

How often do you put yourself first and then interact with others in a way that is not God honoring? The next time you feel unkind words or actions surfacing, what can you do to make your interactions with others pleasant and peaceful as you remember the concept of dying to self?

RESPOND

When you are about to say or do something selfish, repeat silently in your mind the phrase, “Hang on a second, I gotta die.” To aid you in making dying to self your aim, write that phrase on sticky notes and post them in prominent places where you will see them throughout your day.

POWER VERSES

Romans 2:7–8; Philippians 2:3–4