In Search Of Gratitude - Fresh Start for Moms

I USED TO THINK EXPRESSING GRATITUDE was something we should naturally know how to do. Then, after I had children, I learned it was not.

I will give you exhibit A in my findings: my daughter Vana. As she was learning how to talk, what came out of her mouth was not praise and delight. Instead, her first phrases were demands and complaints—“I want” instead of “I’m grateful for.” As Tyler and I have introduced her to the idea of gratitude, I have been recognizing that we are all somewhere on the path of learning gratitude.

I used to think that once I was in the habit of listing a few things I was grateful for each day, I would become a master. But it turns out that I’m still learning. For starters, how do we decide what we should be grateful for? I usually begin with the basics, but on tough days, I tend to stop right after listing a roof over my head and food on my table, as if I can’t think of anything else.

I remember one day trying to think of more things to be thankful for and blanking. Well, not so much blanking as looking around and dwelling on the negatives about each thing my mind landed on. Grateful for my kids? Yeah, but Vivi’s been a monster lately. Grateful for my job? Well, it’s really stressful right now, and I’m not making as much money as I’d like to. I hate to admit it, but this has truly been my thought process some days!

Then John Ortberg goes sticking his nose in my business, saying, “The bigger the sense of entitlement, the smaller the sense of gratitude.”^a Oh, how uncomfortable that makes me! I find it hard to be grateful for things I think I am entitled to. When I take a step back and look at my life without a sense of entitlement, my joy skyrockets and adoration for the Lord wells up inside me.

What would happen if you stopped right now and looked around, realizing that you didn’t earn any of what you have? Sure, you may have worked hard to pay for something, but God gave you the job and the skills to work, and God made the place where you live available. All of these are gifts from the Lord.

John Ortberg goes on to give an example of someone going to the dealership to buy a car and someone else who is surprised with a car—topped with a big bow and everything. Who is more grateful? Who enjoys the gift more? The one who felt he earned it, or the one who knew it was a gift?

I love the quote Jennie Allen shares in her book Anything: “You have to thank God for the seemingly good and the seemingly bad because really, you don’t know the difference.”^b I saw a prime example of this when reading Joseph’s speech to his brothers in Genesis 50:20: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” My simple mind sees Joseph’s circumstances (being sold into slavery by his own brothers!) as a major day ruiner, but even something this terrible turned out for good in the end—another reminder that sometimes we don’t know what’s good and what’s bad. So doesn’t it make sense to choose to be grateful for all of it instead of hand-selecting what we will thank God for?

This sentiment is highlighted in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 too: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (ESV). God’s will for us is a life of gratitude, and that includes no caveats. This is both really scary and really beautiful. Gratitude might feel like a token response—something you learned when you were five—but as we thank the Lord in all circumstances, maybe those things that we were complaining about a few days ago are being used by God to sanctify us.

Can we celebrate that victory in the Lord? Just one more thing to be grateful for!

ACTION STEP

Incorporate gratitude into your morning, and begin to recognize those moments when you feel entitled. Discover the joy of trading in entitlement for pure gratitude.

PRAYER

Father, fill my heart with a passion to thank you for everything you’ve done in my life. Give me eyes of gratitude instead of entitlement, and let that set my joy on fire. Let that gratitude overflow to my entire family, too. In Jesus’ name, amen.

MORNING QUESTIONS

TAKEAWAY TODAY | List three things you’re grateful for today.

What did someone else intend for evil in your life that God is using for good?

DREADING TODAY | Is there anything you’re dreading today?

REDEFINING TODAY | If so, what is another way you can view that thing you’re dreading?

ASKING GOD TODAY | What request are you bringing before the Lord today?

EVENING QUESTIONS

REFLECTION | Did you experience any moments of gratitude today—either spontaneous or intentional?

LITTLE VICTORIES | Where did you see God show up even in small ways, reminding you that you aren’t alone?

WHITE FLAG MOMENTS | When did you want to hide or escape today?

MEMORY OF THE DAY | What do you want to relish and thank God for?