Flexing Our No Muscle

What happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. . . . We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. Galatians 5:22-23, MSG

IT HAS TAKEN me years to find and flex my No Muscle. For a while, I wasn’t sure I even had one. I was saying yes to any and all opportunities. But opportunity does not mean obligation, nor does it even mean an invitation from God. An opportunity is just that: a possible yes or no in your life. It’s a choice in front of you.

Every time I flex my No Muscle and say, “That’s not going to work for me, but thanks for asking and good luck!” I find a sense of loyalty growing to the commitments I have already made. Each no drives my current yes stakes farther into the ground. But as a recovering people-pleaser, this is hard work. What is it inside people who can naturally say no and easily draw boundaries—who so easily swerve the lanes of people-pleasing without being caught in the traffic jam of it all?

These women seem to know the value of loyal commitments, of faithfulness, of saying yes to the right things—which is a profoundly spiritual practice. When presented with an opportunity, we all have the chance to take that opportunity to the throne of God and ask Him to give us the strength to flex the right muscles. Yes or no on this one, Lord? And then the best opportunity of all arises: trusting Him to provide for us in the answer. We can trust Him to give us the faithfulness to take that yes and rock it out or trust that when it’s a no, we are not hamstringing ourselves and all opportunities from there on out. We need faith in God to be faithful in our commitments.

Faithfulness is not only a mark of the fruit of the Spirit in our lives, but it is a practice to live out. What yeses are you committed to, and how are you doing in your loyalty to them? What nos need to be made to keep your yeses flourishing? A friend of mine says that if she is going to be away from her family of six, it better be good. Because her first yes is growing up her four children and being a present wife.

Where do you need encouragement to keep being faithful to your yes? Where do you need to practice flexing your No Muscle? Flexing those No Muscles is grace looking good on you, girl.

GRACE REFLECTION: Pray with me, “God, give me eyes to see the best yeses in my life and the loyalty and energy to continue to make them flourish. Help me do that by showing me what to say no to as well. Amen.”