Limping By Grace

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18, NIV

“I DON’T SEE THE world the same way I did before he passed. . . . I don’t have the same goals. . . . For weeks I cried in my bedroom closet so the kids wouldn’t hear me. . . . I keep thinking he’s coming home.”

The words tumbled out of my sister’s-in-law mouth as our kids ran in and out of the house, the back door swinging open and closed to a rhythm—laughing, running, slamming. Our conversation took on a rhythm as well—laughing, remembering, crying. A new cadence was developing in her life as she navigated the waters of being a widow. She was forming a new understanding of pain.

She and my brother-in-law had been high school sweethearts. They had grown up into marriage naturally and easily. They had two bright children. But then he passed away suddenly, and the life my sister-in-law knew crumbled. She went to the bottom of a dark, scary valley. She buried her husband while holding young children in her arms and weeping through all the layers of loss. She has been forever marked by his passing. She has been forever changed.

When we wrestle through the depths of pain and despair, we are changed. We have fought and clawed and elbowed our way through the muck and mire, and we’ve come out bruised, banged, bent, different. And unfortunately, our wounds don’t always go away with time. Not in a way that it looks like nothing happened, at least. Time leaves voids, scars, limps.

Thank God for Jesus, our Companion in pain. He is proof that the scars never quite go away. But His scars are proof of His victory, of His grace. They’re visible reminders of the hell and back He went through to save His children.

As my sister-in-law stood by her husband’s casket, and in all the time since, her scars, too, have looked like grace. This grace looks amazing on her as she has kept her faith, listened to stories about her late husband, and laughed at what a good life they had together.

Watching her wear grace, I’ve learned how God gives strength and hope as we learn to walk again. As we limp down our new path. Grace looks like showing our scars when we roll up our sleeves to join Him in another new day.

We can rest in the deep healing truth that Jesus is at work even now, with scars from the fight. We can find strength from Him as we remember His scars were not for nothing. We can trust God that by grace, our scars will help us to overcome.

GRACE REFLECTION: What pain has changed you forever? What grace can you see in your scars?