The Only Position

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14, NIV

HAVE YOU EVER been keenly aware that your name was on the table for discussion? Maybe you applied for a job and had to wait as interviews took place. Or maybe you found out you were being gossiped about behind your back. Or maybe your very identity and leadership position were being questioned by others in the church.

That last one is a bit specific, isn’t it? Because it happened specifically to me. Talk about being refined. My gifts and talents were up for discussion because a few people questioned the elders of my church about whether I should serve on the teaching team on Sunday mornings. Now, please hear me, I respect people’s convictions, and I know women teaching behind the pulpit is a gray area across many churches. But no matter where anyone lands, it does not make it any easier or less personal when you happen to be the female in question.

Over several months, this discussion brought me to tears. Lies came at me from the enemy. My very identity was threatened—and when I look back—my shaken identity was actually God’s grace.

My pastor will say we often want “salvation through validation” in our lives. Sigh. I was there. I wanted everyone to validate my position, title, and gifts. But if we only listen for the praise of others, we will be deaf to who God says we are.

After a lot of praying and confiding in safe friends, I ended up writing the same words in my journal over and over, for days on end. I wrote “God is my Father, and I am His daughter, and this is the only position I need.”

I needed to remember that my God was for me. With me. Fighting for me and refining me through this. I also needed to know that this discussion might not come out looking the way I wanted it to look. He might not lead the battle in the direction I would like it to go. But He will always fight the battle about my identity. And He will win. He will quiet the enemy so I can stand tall in my position as the daughter of the Most High King.

In the end, the elders of my church made sure I knew that they wanted me to teach at our church. There are still some Sundays when I walk on stage to teach, under the beautiful authority of the elders, and shake with nerves. But then I whisper, “God is my Father, and I am His daughter, and that is the only position I need.” And I teach what He has given me with bravery, grace, and joy.

GRACE REFLECTION: Pray with me, “God, thank You for calling me Your daughter. You are my Father, the Most High King. Thank You that You will always fight for me to know the truth about myself. Thank You that I can be still and let You defend my identity. Amen.”