When We Hurry Past Kindness

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

IT WAS THE SLOWEST CAR that has ever driven on any road in history. My eighty-nine-year-old grandma used to walk faster than this car. Molasses pours faster than this car. And I was right behind it. I should get a medal for finding it. Or driving behind it. Or both.

I was built for speed. It’s all I’ve ever known. I started walking at nine months to chase after my older sister. I remember running almost everywhere as a child. And in college while walking with a friend, she said, “Do you always walk this fast?” I had never considered my pace. It was just how I walked. What’s the point of slow?

Actually, a lot comes from slowing down. It has taken me a good part of forty years to really understand this. I have had to work hard to retrain my brain and rewire my soul to slow down. To breathe. To enjoy what’s right in front of me. To “be where my feet are” as a sweet friend of mine puts it.

One of the biggest benefits of slowing down is kindness. When I am in a hurry and caught behind an impossibly slow car, it is nearly impossible to be kind. I am barking out commands, I am swerving around, I am wanting the world to make way for my life and my schedule. Self-importance so often is the center of my hurry.

A scarcity mind-set also accompanies hurry—our time is running out and resources are running thin. But have you noticed in these moments how your generosity and kindness are running out too? How your self-focus is actually a lost focus—a blurring out of what is good and right and beautiful?

I have been doing some soul training—sitting still for five incredibly gorgeous minutes and thinking about how my mind-set, schedule, and self-importance have depleted my kindness. This stillness, this grace, feels amazing on me, like a fresh, warm bathrobe. When I sit for five solid, restorative minutes and just be, something beautiful happens in my soul: The hurry dissipates and the kindness multiplies. I slow my breath. I exhale anxiety and inhale peace. I begin to consider others’ needs and situations above my own. And as my peace grows, so does my awareness of God’s incredible kindness in my life, which, in turn, makes me want to be just as kind to others.

If we want to be grace-reflecting women, we have some soul-choices to make. Maybe it’s training ourselves to be still before God. Maybe it’s breathing deep breaths and asking God for patience. Maybe it’s naming all the beauty God has poured into our lives on a regular basis. Whatever practices we adopt, Dallas Willard reminds us in his book The Great Omission that “grace is not opposed to effort, but is opposed to earning.”^a Our effort works right along with God’s grace. Spiritual practices will not earn us God’s grace or love. But they will open our eyes to the Spirit at work, allowing us to remember God’s kindness and generosity in our lives and how He never hurries past us.

GRACE REFLECTION: Today, find a quiet spot and be still for five minutes. Where does your kindness run short? How can you pursue kindness and reflect it toward others today?