Find Your Own Faith

Pastor Butcher was a short, bald, lively preacher—energetic and engaging, not dull and dry the way kids sometimes expect an older pastor to be. He challenged the group of 150 teenagers that night: “There are some of you here tonight whom God could use as pastors and missionaries.”

The memory of that moment of my life is one of those crystal-clear ones, distilled and distinct, like the moment you graduate from high school or your first child is born. I remember that the crowd of kids faded away and the reverend’s voice receded into the background. I felt a pressure in my heart, almost a whisper: That’s you, Todd. That’s what I want you to do.

—HEAVEN IS FOR REAL, 91

Todd

I was thirteen and attending church camp in Arkansas when, all of a sudden during the pastor’s message, God himself spoke to my heart. Even though I was surrounded by other teenagers, I was hearing God’s voice speak directly to me. I was still in the room with everyone else, but part of me wasn’t there anymore.

Such moments are hard to explain to others who haven’t experienced them. At thirteen, my heart raced and my palms sweated as I sensed God saying something like, “Yeah, Todd, I’m talking to you.”

I was raised in a Christian family and had grown up (at least as grown up as you can be at thirteen) accepting my parents’ beliefs. But to accept something and to understand something are two different things. For me, God became real when I felt he was speaking directly to me.

You may have read or heard others describe their life-changing moments with God. Truly, hearing God speak to us on an individual basis is powerful. It reminds us how much we matter to God.

As I have grown older, these God moments seem much more natural and far less dramatic. But they are still the highlight of my walk with Christ.

That moment I had with God when I was thirteen was very dramatic. But it wasn’t my first. My first one-on-one conversation with God that I can remember occurred when I was nine. I was at a different camp, and it was hot, humid, and fun. In a service there, God took over the speaker’s voice. Honestly. That’s how it was for me. My pulse raced and my hands shook—I vividly remember that—but I overcame my jitters and responded to the invitation to accept Jesus into my heart. And at that moment, I knew without a doubt that God was real, and my faith was my own.

It wasn’t something I did just because I knew it would please my parents. I wanted to follow God for myself.

Colton “found” his own faith during his visit to heaven. Obviously, during that experience God proved to Colton that he was real. Today there’s no way you could talk Colton out of his belief in God or his trip to heaven. He knows that he knows, and nothing will ever change that.

I don’t know exactly how you pass God on to others so that they find their own personal faith. You can’t just hand faith over like you can give someone a slice of pizza or a cold soda. Only the readiness of a person’s heart and the presence of God himself can cause someone to believe for himself or herself.

As a parent, I had two responses to Colton’s personal awareness of God. First, I was thrilled that he had made his own personal contact with God. Second, I was a little bit jealous. He had made that contact when he was only three, and obviously, Colton’s contact was way deeper than my first direct connection with God had been. But my gratefulness for Colton’s personal faith far outweighed any real envy I might have had.

And then there was the day when our youngest child, Colby, came to my bedroom doorway with a dead-serious look on his face. He was only five, but it was obvious he had something really important to share.

“Dad, can I ask you a question?” he asked.

I had barely finished my shower; I had a towel wrapped around me and water still dripping down my face. But seeing Colby’s seriousness, I nodded and waited for what he had to say.

With big brown eyes looking up at me, Colby said, “I’ve just been talking to God. Can you pray with me, Dad? I want to be a Christian too.”

Talk about Wow! I might not have been suitably dressed for that life-changing event, but I will never forget that moment. I’m not sure what God had said to Colby, but once again I was thrilled. God-contact had been made!

Still wearing nothing but a towel, I called Sonja to the room, and we both prayed with Colby that morning.

I’ve noticed that children seem to be ready to “get” God faster than adults. As we age, we become more cynical, more closed, and more self-reliant. As time passes, the world seems to bruise us and cause our once-soft hearts to harden.

Whenever I have a conversation with people who doubt God’s existence, I suggest that they pray (if they pray at all), asking God to prove himself. I tell them, “Just pray, ‘God, if you’re real, prove it to me. And show me that Jesus is your Son.’ ”

Now, I know some people are simply not honest enough to pray that prayer and really mean it. I guess you have to be the judge about your own honesty level. But look at it this way: you have nothing to lose by praying that prayer!

Still, I want to warn you—I really want you to know—that if you’re honest and you truly desire an answer, God is going to answer.

It might take some time for God to answer your prayer. And I certainly won’t predict how he might. But I will tell you that I’m praying with you even now: “God, please speak to the willing heart who is honestly praying this prayer!”

If you have doubts about God, ask him to prove himself to you. You have everything to gain, and nothing to lose.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

—Jeremiah 29:13 NIV