To Be A Loving Father - How to Be a Great Dad

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NIV)

Love takes many forms, but it should always include verbal expression when it comes to your family. Never assume your children know you love them, believe in them, and are proud of them. In my childhood home, it went unsaid, and the damage was devastating.

Instead, consistently encourage your children with words. Try to tell each child “I love you” and “I’m proud of you” at least once every day. Sound like too much? It’s not. Try it and see.

Love looks like conversation. It’s never a good idea to say, “I’m too busy” when a child wants to talk. If you can’t talk then, tell them when you can talk later. Make sure you take time to discern what your child needs in each situation—whether words of comfort and solace, of encouragement and inspiration, or of admonition. Sometimes they might need a hug, but sometimes they might need a kick in the pants. Love tries to make the right call.

Love also expresses itself in nonverbal ways. Never underestimate the healing power of physical touch. Hug your kids every day. (If they are grown and out of the house, embrace them when you see them.) If you don’t regularly show your children love through physical affection, they will likely look for physical affection elsewhere, prematurely. A missed hug is gone forever.

Love also requires time. The best way to spend time with your kids is the way in which they want to spend it. If they like drones, go to a drone park. If they like cheerleading, go to their games. If they like karate, learn karate with them.

Schedule a recurring appointment with your kids. For example, every Tuesday I alternated taking one of our two children to dinner, followed by an activity such as going to a movie, racing go-karts, playing games at the arcade, or eating ice cream.

Another way you can invest time is to involve your children in planning a family vacation. Some of my fondest and most vivid childhood memories revolve around family vacations.

Reflection and Application

• Did you grow up feeling loved and cared for?
• In general, do you think you have loved your children the way they need to be loved?

  __ never

  __ rarely

  __ sometimes

  __ usually

  __ always

• What is one action you can take to give your children the right amount of verbal, emotional, and physical affection they need to feel like they’re the gleam in your eye?