How To Get Your Smile Back - Loving Life Again After Divorce

Recently my kids and I were looking at some photos from a couple years ago. Photos taken on happy occasions, like holidays, Mother’s Day, and a family vacation, all of which were filled with me and the people I loved most.

But my twenty-four-year-old daughter, Morgan, said something that caught me by surprise. She said, “Mom, you know what I noticed about you in all those photos?”

“What?” I said, curious as to what she was thinking. “You were smiling in every one. But when I really look at them closely now, your eyes – they just look so sad.”

I thought for a moment about the depth of her observation, got a little choked up, then answered honestly, “Well, sweetie, I was sad. Beyond heartbroken, even more than I could explain to anyone. All the hard things we were going through due to your father’s choices and abandonment of our family, the losses we had experienced, the fears, emotions, and overwhelming challenges I was facing…it was a very, very sad time.”

She already knew this all too well, as did my other two children, because we had all been walking this hard road together. But I found it so interesting she noticed that even though I was doing my best to wear a smile, feel happy and look happy, the sadness in my blue eyes apparently told the real story. My spirit was crushed, and even the smile on my face couldn’t disguise it.

When someone has deep sorrow and a lack of joy in their heart, you can read it in their expression, and when they do have true joy in their heart, you can see that in their countenance too. Joy is an inner condition reflected in our outer expressions: a condition that is only possible through the peace, love and healing of Jesus Christ, especially when our spirits are crushed.

This is the truth Solomon was sharing in Proverbs 15:13, “A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.” Everyone faces trials in life, but our faith and our attitude is what will affect our joy, drive how we feel and ultimately determine who we become and even what we look like.

Our internal level of joy is evident in our external demeanor. When we let life or other people dictate our joy, our heart condition deteriorates and our smiles are at stake too. Yet if we seek joy from Christ in the midst of adversities, we can and will feel true joy and our faces will shine that joy.

Not long after those photos were taken all those many months ago, I remember making a bold commitment to myself and to God to find happiness again, no matter what. I began to intentionally change my thought patterns about myself and my situations. I earnestly asked God every single day to restore my joy–the joy of my salvation–even if he didn’t restore my marriage or my circumstances.

Over time, and through a lot of faith and prayers, he did exactly that! Although my situation remained the same, my heart and mind did not. My happiness returned, and my authentic smile did too.

Dear Jesus, I surrender to you the people and circumstances which I’ve tied my joy to. Restore to me the joy of my salvation and help me find my beautiful, genuine smile again. I want to love the life you have given me and enjoy life to the fullest, despite what it might look like. I commit today to do exactly that. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.