Compromise Vs. Promise

I headed straight to the pantry. No doubt about it, this was an occasion when comfort food was completely justifiable.

My son had come to me scared and admitted that he had compromised his standards and gone too far with his girlfriend. They hadn’t crossed every line, but enough that he knew they were headed in a dangerous direction. He wanted help processing what to do. We considered this definition:

This is exactly the way he felt — that they had exposed their relationship to emotions they were not ready to handle. They had indulged in an area God wanted to preserve, yet the world told them they deserved. And, it had weakened their relationship.

We sat on the back deck and processed the situation together. I said, “What happens when you delete ‘com’ from the word compromise? You’re left with a ‘promise.’ “ I shared that he was made for more than compromise. He was made for God’s promises in every area of his life.

We read many of the empowering Scripture verses I’ve included in this book, seeking to filter every part of this situation through God’s truth. In the end, he and his girlfriend came to the realization they needed to break up. It’s really hard to put things in reverse after certain lines have been crossed.

I walked back into the house after that conversation with two things running through my brain. I was thrilled my son came to me to talk about such a sensitive issue. What an honor to breathe truth into his physical struggle.

But I also felt a little panicked at the realities of parenting an older teenager. And this feeling convinced me I had to have some comfort food! As I loaded my arms full of treats, I turned and saw my son standing on the other side of the kitchen. I was suddenly struck by a gut-wrenching question. How could I expect my son to apply truth to the area of his greatest physical struggle, but refuse to apply it to my area of greatest physical struggle?

This question struck deep. If I wanted to model what it looks like to live out truth in my physical struggles, I would have to break up with unhealthy choices. I admit that indulging in chips and brownies is a small concession compared to a young couple compromising their purity. But if one indulgence leads to two, and that leads to other indulgences, then the downward spiral is quite similar.

And whether we are talking about having premarital sex or other compromises that make us feel defeated, we must remember a crucial truth. We were made for God’s promises that lead to an abundant life of truth, strength, and joy. Satan’s purpose is to compromise God’s promised best: “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give [you] a rich and satisfying life” (John 10:10 NLT). Don’t allow this thief to weaken, expose, or make you vulnerable. Don’t compromise. Refuse to accept less than the peace and abundant life God has promised you.

Listen for this lie the thief will often whisper: “This will make you feel wonderful!” Combat this lie with this: “You are a liar and a destroyer, Satan. Yes, this may feel wonderful in the moment, but how will I feel in the morning? I will not let your poisonous invitation for pleasure in the moment derail and defeat me. I am not made for compromise. I am made to live the reality of God’s promises.”

This is true for my son. This is true for me. This is true for you, dear friend.