Good Gifts

Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.

IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE.

I (Kendra) lie in bed as a young child, willing myself to sleep. I have my eyes closed and squeezed tight, believing that will somehow make me fall asleep more quickly. Turning over to my side and again to my back, I hear my younger sister’s deep breathing, a clear sign she’s already fallen asleep in the bed across the room. I sigh, jealous she’s no longer awake.

The closet light left on with the door ajar puts a soft glow on the senior pictures of my dad still hanging on the walls of what used to be his room and sends long shadows from the well-worn furniture he’d used as a child. After several minutes, I take a deep breath as my heartbeat slows. My restless legs begin to still.

Downstairs, I can hear the toss of dice on a table—my parents and grandparents playing another round of Yahtzee, their favorite game. I’m finally lulled to sleep by the repetitive sound of the shake and rattle of dice across the Formica tabletop that’s become a familiar part of my childhood.

The next morning, I awaken, amazed that I’ve actually fallen asleep. I tiptoe from my bed and peek at the clock—5:30 a.m. Good enough, I think as I slowly push open the bedroom door, not wanting the squeak of the old hinges to wake up anyone else. I make my way down the long hallway with its white walls and its carpet runner of muted orange, yellow, and green. I tiptoe past my grandparents’ bedroom and then my parents’, where they are all still asleep.

I turn at the end of the hallway and head down the flight of stairs, looking toward the living room where three filled stockings rest on the plastic-covered white couch next to the artificial tree. I find the one with my name and smile. Taking it to the dining room table, I turn on the TV to find cartoons and then pull each item from the sock. I always know there will be an orange and a small box of chocolates at the bottom, no matter what other trinkets are included each year.

I open the candy packaging and sink my teeth into one of the treats, saving the caramel-filled one for last. My usually strict mother never minds us eating all our chocolates before breakfast; Christmas morning is a special occasion.

Pretty soon, my sisters and parents will be up, my dad will start the coffee, we’ll have breakfast, and then we’ll wait for my grandparents—especially my grandpa—to descend the stairs so we can open our gifts.

I loved Christmas as a child. It wasn’t elaborate, but it always felt magical to me. Between the cozy snow-covered ground, the twinkling lights on houses and trees, the smell of cookies and treats made only this time of year, and the presents that had been lovingly wrapped and placed beneath the tree—which we’d tried for weeks to guess—it was just so special.

Now a parent myself, I want to create the same kind of excitement and tradition around Christmas morning as my parents did. We also have traditions the kids enjoy—stockings on Christmas morning, caramel rolls in the oven before anyone awakens, and the long-awaited present opening. As parents, we want to give our kids things that they desire, but the stress of being able to afford them is something I didn’t know as a child would be a part of the holiday season.

And, unfortunately, I’m not alone. A recent study showed that 46 percent of adults and 53 percent of parents are worried about being able to afford gifts.^a One of the most stressful parts about the Christmas season is wondering how we’ll be able to pay for all the presents.

But the funny thing is, for as much as I remember all of our family’s little traditions and quirks and my inability ever to fall asleep right away—I can’t tell you what most of those gifts actually were. I’m sure my parents would laugh to hear it, knowing how much time, effort, and care they put into choosing our gifts, but I don’t really remember them.

What I do remember is the feeling I had of being loved and known. My parents weren’t wealthy people. Our presents weren’t lavish or even expensive. But they knew me. They knew my interests and likes. And they gave me good gifts.

Maybe you, too, have struggled with the gift-giving part of Advent. Perhaps you’ve struggled to afford the things you know your family members want, or maybe you worry that it’s too consumeristic. Too much stuff. We’ve had many of the same struggles in our family.

If there’s anything I’ve taken away from my childhood, it’s that my kids may not remember every gift, but they will remember the feelings they’ve experienced during Advent. The little traditions our family is sure to do every year, the family gatherings, the fun games. The movies and laughter. The gifts that are picked to fit their personalities and interests. It’s not perfect, but we try to make it meaningful.

Just as we take care to choose presents our loved ones will like, God loves to give us good gifts. But not in a materialistic way that fades with tomorrow’s new trend; he gives us gifts that last. Love. Joy. Peace. Mercy. Kindness.

And when we think about how Jesus came to earth to show us just who God is and how loved we really are, we’re reminded again of the greatest gift he gave—the gift of himself. The gift of his sharing in our every joy and burden.

He is the God who pursues us, who knows us, and who loves us more than anything else. Who doesn’t change like a shifting shadow. Who sees us as his prized possessions.

Who surely gives good and perfect gifts.

This Advent season, let’s take a lesson from our heavenly Father and give gifts to our loved ones wrapped in the things that will truly last—our love, care, and kindness. Let’s find presents that are unique and convey the message that we know who our loved ones are and what will make them smile. Let’s focus on making memories that will last.

Lord, thank you for the good gifts you give to us. Help us to follow your example in the gifts that we give this Advent season. If we feel stressed, help us to find peace in you. Give us wisdom and practical ways to manage others’ expectations while also making this Advent season meaningful. Give us the courage to have conversations around expectations and gift giving. Thank you for the gift of your Son and your love that is for each of us. Fill us with your peace. May we rest today, knowing we are fully known and fully loved by you. Amen.