Seasons Of Grace

The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.

“HURRY UP!” I CALLED TO MY HUSBAND. “We’re going to be late. I told everyone we’d be there at noon.”

“Coming, Kendra!” he called from upstairs. I watched him carry our young son, crying and kicking his little legs, down the stairs. “It’s okay. You’ll have time to play with your toys later,” he said soothingly.

As we buckled the kids in and pulled out of the drive, hurrying to make it to an extended family gathering that Christmas Day, my husband took my hand. “This is ridiculous,” he said above the continued cries in the back seat. “I don’t think it was realistic to think we could leave the house so quickly after this morning. We need to do something different.”

I nodded, knowing exactly what he was talking about. We’d wanted to do what we’d always done, so we rushed our kids through Christmas morning at our house—wake-up, breakfast, gift opening, and getting ready to leave, with more family gifts and food yet to deliver. It turned out to be more than we could manage in one morning, and I felt terrible for not anticipating how taxing it would be for our young family.

As we drove along, I felt the stress of everyone in the car. When it was just Kyle and I, it had always worked out fine, going from one family gathering to the next. But now, with kids, it wasn’t so easy. I was weary, and what we had done in the past no longer worked.

We needed time as a family to create some of our own traditions, and we needed more downtime and less stimulation. Although holiday celebrations are fun, they can also be tiring.

We needed rest.

Sitting quietly by the fireplace a few days after the merriment had ended and our overtired kids were sleeping soundly in their beds, we discussed what we wanted going forward.

“This isn’t even enjoyable,” I said. “I’m worried we’re missing the most important aspects of Christmas because we’re so busy running from place to place.”

“I agree,” Kyle responded. “We need to do something different.”

“But what about our families? I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

Kyle shrugged. “We need to do what’s best for our family. They’ll understand. Or they won’t,” he said with a wink. “Either way, let’s make a plan that we can both agree on.”

I let out a sigh, knowing he was right.

Going into the next holiday season, we decided we would spend Christmas Eve with one side of the family and most of Christmas to connect with one another, with extended family, and with God, and to have fun while doing it.

We all will walk through seasons in life that will invite us to adjust—whether we’re being swamped with work and a new career, accommodating school schedules, moving to a new place that’s no longer close to family, or becoming empty nesters. The holidays are a time we need to be willing to adjust our schedules and expectations—and that’s okay. It’s a message I’m quick to share with others.

One dear friend called to say that she had just started a new job several states away from her family, and it was her first time to be away during the holidays. She was upset because some family members couldn’t understand why she wasn’t coming home to celebrate as she always had.

“But this is the job I’ve always wanted, and I can’t take the time off,” she said. “I feel bad. I want to be with them, but it’s just not going to work this year.”

“I understand,” I said, explaining how we, too, had changed our family traditions over the years.

“What do you want to do?” I asked.

She thought about it. “I have time in January to return for a few days.”

“Perfect,” I said, and we talked about again letting her family know of the changes while also offering an alternative. In the end, some of her family decided to also come and visit her earlier in December to celebrate Christmas.

The world will always pressure us to be busier than we already are, and people’s expectations will sometimes add to that pressure. But if we take the time to listen, Jesus will call us to rest in him. Even when life is chaotic. Sometimes, the best choice we can make is to say no to something that may be good so we can say yes to something that is better: Our sanity. Our peace. Our joy.

We don’t have to be surprised by the changing seasons of life or feel bad when we need to make accommodations for our current life circumstances, nor should we begrudge others’ need to do the same thing. Change is a part of life, and the Advent season isn’t an exception. Some of us welcome change; for others, it can be challenging. But when our goal is to find ways to be present, enjoy the moment, and reflect on why we even celebrate in the first place, we’ll not only accept change but embrace it.

And if we allow God to guide us through each stage of life, we can trust that he will do as he promised in today’s verse, giving us water when we need it and restoring our strength for the tasks at hand. If we remain sensitive to his Spirit, we’ll be like a well-watered garden or an ever-flowing spring, finding refreshment and rest for ourselves and also offering it to those around us.

Lord, thank you for the different seasons of life. Thank you for what has been and for what is to come. Give us wisdom to know how to walk into this current season of life with grace and peace. Help us have honest conversations filled with love and compassion. Give us the courage to let go of things that no longer serve us and to allow others to adjust as they need to as well. We love you, Jesus. We are so grateful that you came. May we find the time to be with you and those we love. Amen.