Mom Heart Moments #88

Your lovingkindness is before my eyes, and I have walked in Your truth.

WHEN WE LIVED IN VIENNA LONG AGO, there came a point when the early dark on winter evenings, the reality of a charming yet leaky old house, a language I didn’t entirely understand, ministry pressures, and distance from family and friends became overwhelming to me. When a desired trip home fell through, I finally broke down in tears.

The next morning, I made my way to a small café nearby and sat down with an apple strudel and hot cup of coffee. As I sat in the soft contours of the chair that morning, a sense of indignation bubbled up in my soul. Lord, how can You treat us this way? We gave up everything to come here. Do You know how lonely I am? Couldn’t you at least provide a few friends? Is it such an incredible demand to ask for Joel to sleep through the night? A little rest is all I’m asking for, Lord, even a teensy bit of affirmation.

I glanced heavenward and sighed as I thought all of this, then opened my Bible. Finding myself turning to Genesis 3, I read and reread the passage where Satan tempts Eve. And as I read, I observed that the first recorded temptation in Scripture came as a result of Satan casting doubt upon God’s character. His temptation was to make Eve doubt God’s goodness and the rightness of what He had wrought in her life.

Oh, how quickly conviction comes. Doubting God’s love for me and His goodness in my life was the root of my worry and despair. Now, I had to choose which I would believe: the lies of Satan as he tempted me to look at my struggles and doubts, or the eternal, life-changing truths of God’s overwhelming love and entirely trustworthy goodness to me as His child.

Are you keeping God’s lovingkindness before your eyes? It’s the only way to walk in truth.