Mom Heart Moments #97

Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.

OVER THE YEARS, a number of moms have asked me about how to keep the hearts of preteens and teens when they start drifting away. I have definitely not been a perfect mom, but Clay and I have learned so much and have seen so much of His grace to keep us going along the way. I truly love my children as best friends and companions, and though so many days were irritating, the fruit of remaining under the load of cultivating patience with our children has paid off so much more than we could have imagined!

I think it is of the utmost importance to focus on the hearts of our children, rather than on their behavior. There is a reason that God uses the word heart over eight hundred times in Scripture.

Every child has a different personality, with different capacities and abilities. If we really believe we are supposed to study our children and seek to release the passions and personalities and drives of their hearts so that they can pursue God’s call on their lives, we will seek to be winsome, gracious, lifegiving, and encouraging. If their behavior is our only focus, we can force them to submit to us when they are young simply because we are bigger than them! However, the short-term “success” could lead to long-term failure if this control causes us to lose their hearts. The goal is for them to love and obey with joy, not out of compulsion.

If, when your children are young, in the midst of training them and holding up God’s ideals, you also serve them and love them unconditionally, then you will be laying a foundation for them to be willing to listen to you when they are older.

What can you do to strengthen your ties to your children’s hearts?