New Morning Mercies #301

Beliefis not simply a function of the brain. No, it’s an investment of the heart that fundamentally changes the way that you live.

It was an academic illusion, an intellectual replacement for the real thing, but I didn’t know it. Because I had filled my brain during seminary with the details of the theology of the Word of God so that I could hold my own in almost any theological debate, I thought of myself as a man of faith. Because I had a high level of biblical literacy, having committed many passages of Scripture to memory, I looked at myself as spiritually mature. Because I had ministry gifts and a ministry calling, I thought I was living a life of faith. But my faith was like a luxury car with no engine. It was beautiful on the outside, but it lacked the power necessary to do what it was meant to do. If you had questioned my faith, I would have been highly offended. If you had confronted me as being immature, I would have quickly risen to my defense. But this house of spiritual cards was about to come down.

Here’s the good news: God is faithful and will do what is necessary to craft real faith in us. Faith isn’t natural for us. It’s not natural for us to rest our entire past, present, and future on someone we cannot hear, see, or touch. Doubt is natural. Envy is natural. Fear is natural. Worry is natural. Trying to figure out what’s coming next is natural. Trusting our own strength and wisdom is natural, but faith is not natural for us. So God works in sanctifying grace to turn baby believers into mature people of faith. He will not relent until that work is complete. Nothing can stop the move of his transforming grace. Here’s what you need to understand: your faith is not your hope; his zealous grace is the only source of hope for fickle-faith sinners.

So God used marriage and ministry to expose my weak, shallow, and immature faith. Oh, I worked hard to deny the evidence that marriage and ministry produced. I pointed to my acts of righteousness to pump air into my delusion. But God would not turn away. I was a very angry man, but I denied that anger and its roots in my heart. I was a very proud man, but I refused to see it. I was a self-sovereign controller, but I said it was just me using my God-given leadership gifts. But things didn’t get better, they got worse. My wife, Luella, confronted me again and again about my anger. People in our congregation confronted me about my pride. I once preached what I thought was the ultimate sermon on pride. It was really a case study of the same. God used ministry and family brokenness to begin to craft in me mature faith. I am a very different man today, but the Craftsman is still at work, maturing the faith that only his grace can produce.

For further study and encouragement: 1 John 3:1–10