Fulfilling Your Purpose In Marriage - Pray for the Marriage You Want

“God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” (Genesis 1:28, NIV)

“Be fruitful and multiply!”

My mother wrote those words on every card she ever tucked into a wedding gift. Looking at her enthusiastic scrawl—always with an exclamation point—I used to cringe. What if a couple didn’t want children? What if they couldn’t have kids? What was wrong with just saying, “Congratulations! We hope you like this crock pot!”?

Now that I’m older (and nearly 40 years into my own marriage), I’ve learned to appreciate the deeper, richer wisdom in the “Be fruitful” charge. At face value, bearing fruit and increasing in number does mean having children, but that’s only part of the picture. The fruitfulness vision that started in Eden runs throughout Scripture. It colors the lives of Noah and Abraham and Joseph, winds its way through the Psalms, and then comes calling for every believer: “I chose you and appointed you,” Jesus says, “so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last.” (John 15:16).

So what does that look like? How can we be sure that our lives—and more specifically, our marriages—will be meaningful and productive? What if we have different ideas about, say, the best uses of money and time? How can we merge our individual (maybe even competing) desires so we have a unified sense of calling?

To discover the answers to questions like these, start with prayer. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you see your relationship through God’s eyes:

• What are your individual strengths? What unique gifts do you have as a couple? What do you find easy to do, where others might struggle?
• When do you feel most alive? What gives you purpose and joy? Where do you sense God’s pleasure in what you are creating or doing?
• What sort of message do you want your marriage to send? What does your wider sphere of influence look like? How might God want to use you in that space?

Those questions aren’t meant to be all-inclusive; rather, they’re designed to help form your thoughts as you pray. And where you come up against thorny patches—individual strengths that feel competitive, or priorities that seem misaligned—bring those to God too. You are his handiwork, created to do the good works he has already prepared (Ephesians 2:10).

Your differences don’t catch God by surprise; in fact, they may be the very things that equip you to fulfill your calling. They may be what makes you stronger together than you would be apart.

Reflect:

Ask God to show you his vision for your marriage. Consider how he might want to use your particular gifts and talents for his glory. Write down your impressions and trust God to work in and through you to bear fruit as you pray.

Pray:

Heavenly Father, make us worthy of our calling. Bring to fruition our every desire for goodness, that your name may be glorified in and through our marriage (2 Thessalonians 1:11-12).