Having Fun Together - Pray for the Marriage You Want

“Marry someone who makes you laugh.”

That’s the advice my friend Susan gave to all five of her kids. She hoped (and prayed) they’d find mates who loved Jesus, who were thoughtful and kind, and who came from loving and supportive families, but the banner she stretched over all of these attributes was that their marriages would be marked by laughter and joy. Susan knew that marriage is never “always easy,” and during the hard times, especially, she figured that the ability to find joy would equip her kids’ relationships to weather the storm.

“A cheerful heart,” says Proverbs 17:22, “is good medicine.”

Having a good sense of humor or a cheerful outlook may not cure all that ails you, but more and more scientific studies point to the mental and physical health benefits that come with joy. For instance, laughter releases endorphins, relieves stress, and soothes tension through improved circulation and muscle relaxation. It combats depression and anxiety and increases self-esteem. And—in what is surely good news for every marriage—researchers at Mayo Clinic say that laughter can “make it easier to cope with difficult situations” and help us “connect with other people.”

The union of husband and wife is, as we’re so often reminded at weddings, “intended by God for their mutual joy.” But wanting joy and accessing it are two different things. Parenting challenges, financial struggles, sickness, job concerns, aging parents, mental health issues, extended family dynamics, and any number of other factors can leave us feeling preoccupied, tense, worried, or tired. Throw in the not-always-uplifting effects of social media, and we might not even remember our last good belly laugh or time when we had fun together.

So what do we do? How do we intentionally make space to play, to enjoy one another, to laugh—both to refresh our marriage and equip us to stay in the game?

We can begin with prayer, borrowing some of King David’s words: “Make known to us the path of life; fill us with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” (Psalm 16:11). And as we pray—as we invite God to show us how to get serious about having fun—we should ask ourselves an obvious question: What do we like to do?

Trying a new sport, taking a dance class, or even getting up early to watch the sunrise might not seem like important spiritual disciplines. But when they draw you and your spouse closer together in a way that allows love to flourish, that brings glory to God.

Likewise, praying about having fun doesn’t seem as important as asking God to help us handle conflict or be kind to each other. But when we stop to consider how much God values joy—how he longs to fill our mouths with laughter—we can only conclude that he is utterly serious about joy.

Have fun with your spouse. Be intentional about creating a climate in which laughter can thrive. And whether you’re naturally funny or not (and if not, that’s okay; the world needs regular people to appreciate funny people), ask God to help you rejoice. Jesus came, after all, to tell us how to live so his joy would be in us and our joy would be full (John 15:11).

Reflect:

God longs for our marriages to reflect his delight as we take joy in each other. What would it take for you to be more intentional about having fun? Have things like stress or fatigue been stealing your joy? Ask God to open your eyes to some ways you can enjoy one another, even in challenging seasons, and trust him to fill you with joy as you pray.

Pray:

Heavenly Father, fill our mouths with laughter! Let others look at us and say, “The Lord has done great things for them.” You have done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. (Psalm 126:2-3)