"Navigating Technology With Strong Relationships"

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:5-6, NLT)

“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.” (John 15:12, NLT)

“Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love.” (1 Corinthians 16:13-14, NLT)

If you are concerned about the type of relationship your child develops with digital technology, you are very wise. The risks are well documented and can impact any family. I wish I knew how to make raising kids in this digital age simple. I don’t. This reminds us of our utter dependence on God as we make the decisions required to raise the children He has given us. The only real solutions are found in a relationship with Jesus Christ and by following the same timeless truths He has taught from the beginning. In this case, the answer is relationship: relationship with Him and relationship between parent and child.

Kids who feel secure and deeply loved by their parents are far less likely to seek fulfillment If you are concerned about the type of relationship your child develops with digital technology, you are very wise. The risks are well documented and can impact any family. I wish I knew how to make raising kids in this digital age simple. I don’t. This reminds us of our utter dependence on God as we make the decisions required to raise the children He has given us. The only real solutions are found in a relationship with Jesus Christ and by following the same timeless truths He has taught from the beginning. In this case, the answer is relationship: relationship with Him and relationship between parent and child.

Kids who feel secure and deeply loved by their parents are far less likely to seek fulfillment in unhealthy relationships of any kind.* They are less prone to become dependent upon drugs, alcohol, pornography, promiscuity, unhealthy peer relationships, endless hours spent playing video games, and other very unhealthy behaviors. This doesn’t guarantee they will be perfect. In fact, they might make some very costly mistakes. However, it’s far less likely that they will further trap themselves by refusing to take responsibility and accept help.

Believe it or not, even when they become teens, our kids want and need plenty of time to connect with their parents, though they may consider it very uncool to admit. Healthy parents don’t take this personally, and they don’t withdraw from their kids when it seems that they don’t want them around.

Keeping a close and loving eye on our kids is one of the most important things we can do to demonstrate our love for them and help them thrive in this digital age. The truth is that it’s impossible for us to know everything our kids are doing. Yet we seek to provide good supervision not because we have an infantile belief that we can know everything our kids are doing. We do so to show them that we care enough to pay attention. We want to have our eyes wide open to any indicators that they need help.

When our kids have strong and healthy relationships with us, they are more likely to be equipped with three things that will help them use social media responsibly when they become older teens or adults. The first is the understanding that God loves and values them so much that He gave His only Son to redeem them from their sins. Although faith is clearly a gift from God, and it is not within your power to give it to your children, your love will surely reinforce the fact that God adores them immensely. They are then far less likely to obsessively look for validation from others.

Second, our relationship with our kids gives them a template for relationships with others. The less drama and the more sincere love and respect in our relationships with our kids, the less likely it is that they will subconsciously gravitate toward drama and conflict in peer relationships and interactions with others on social media.

Third, when our children feel bonded with us, they are far more likely to seek and accept our help if they run into trouble. All of us need help, and all of us need to feel safe asking for it.