Love Story

Come away, my beloved, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the spice-laden mountains.

—Song of Songs 8:14

Confession: when I’m stressed, the to-do list becomes king. Cooking and cleaning are tangible ways for me to care for my family, and I default to those things—if everyone’s in clean clothes and well-fed, I must be holding things together, right? But marriage isn’t about a well-executed to-do list, and Aaron would much rather eat takeout and hunt around for a clean basket of laundry if that means I put down the list and really listen to him.

All of the above, of course, would be lovely—cooking and cleaning and listening and memory-making. Maybe we’ll get there someday. But along the way, I’m learning that being connected in a deep way is so much more valuable than being well-organized, efficient, buttoned-up, and tidy. I default to tidy when what my husband wants and needs more than anything is laughing, listening, and playing, being with instead of being efficient.

Marriage isn’t a business, co-owned and managed. It’s a love story. The most important things we can give our marriage are time and romance, kissing and laughing. Laundry can wait, but a love story needs to be written a little bit every day.