The Surest Place To Find Him

By the word of the LORD the heavens were made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth. He gathers the waters of the sea into jars; he puts the deep into storehouses.

—Psalm 33:6–7

There was something inside me that was pushing me toward God, pushing me toward the church. And it was like learning to walk after an accident—my body recalling so much, feeling so familiar, but entirely new this time. I started going to church, but that didn’t work right away, because when I went, I could still only hear the things that distanced me or the things that made me mad, the clichés and assumptions that had pushed me away in the first place.

I wanted to connect with God somehow, so I decided that I would go to the beach every night at sunset. It was the most sacred thing I could think to do. I wasn’t ready yet for church, but I was ready for God, and I have always believed that the ocean is one of the surest places to find him. I started praying a little bit more honestly and listening a little bit more closely.

There was something inside me, some hopeful, small, faltering voice that said, “There’s room for you.” I don’t know why, but I trusted that voice.