Wedding Present

Show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.

—Song of Songs 2:14

A few times a year, I officiate a wedding. I usually meet with the bride and groom about a week before, and there are a few pieces of advice I always give. The first is that from this point on, nothing can get added to the wedding to-do list. Things can only be taken off the list—either because they’re completed or abandoned. But nothing gets added—no last-minute project, no stroke of genius DIY you saw on Pinterest. If it’s not already on the list, no matter how charming, adding it will only make you crazy.

And then I tell them that while they can add nothing to the list, I can, in fact, add two very important things to their list. First: a no-wedding-talk date. Second: rest, whatever that means—sleep, an unscheduled hour, a walk, a bath. They always look at me like I’m nuts. I can see them thinking, “We’re up to our ears in seating charts and programs to assemble and family drama to mitigate, and you want us to go on a date and then take a nap?”

Actually, yes. Because what will make their wedding day perfect is not the flowers or the favors, but a bride and groom who are happy, connected, present.