Books And Wings

Books and Wings

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

About a year ago, my husband started a book club. Aaron reads several books about business and leadership each year and thought a few of his male acquaintances in our business community might be interested in having conversations about these topics. Aaron picked out a book he had found invaluable and sent out email invites to join him at a local wing joint for the inaugural meeting of Books and Wings.

I have loved watching Books and Wings evolve. The group soon segued from reading purely business and leadership books into reading a book on the tragedy of the Donner Party wagon train in 1846 and watching a Ken Burns documentary on the Vietnam War. They continue to explore a wide-ranging selection of nonfiction topics.

Even more than witnessing my husband explore topics I’d never in a million years think to read about, I’ve loved watching him build a community of healthy male friendships outside of our normal circles. I have spoken to so many women whose husbands simply hang out with the husbands of their friends, content with relationships built solely on proximity. And while there is nothing wrong with a man befriending the husband of his wife’s friend, we can also encourage the men in our lives to grow friendships around their own hobbies and interests.

Aaron engages in friendship differently than I do, and I’ve come to realize that most men are different from women in this way. Because of this, my “helpful” tips for his friendships often don’t translate well, and I’ve learned not to interfere (even with the best of intentions) in how he and the men in his circles do friendship. But despite our different approaches, Aaron’s need for solid male friends is no less than my need for solid female friends. God created us for community, and as Proverbs reminds us, sharing burdens and seeking counsel within the intimacy of healthy friendship has a tangible essence to it—like the sweet aroma of incense or perfume.

— Julie

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Encourage the men in your life to make time and space for friendship with other men without offering “help” in dictating what those friendships ought to look like.