Breaking Rules

Breaking Rules

I was a stranger and you welcomed me.

My husband’s grin was infectious. Decked out in his soccer gear, he informed me he was joining the pickup game he had spotted some Somali guys playing at the park two blocks from our house.

I wondered at this bold move, remembering “The Rule” someone had told Aaron years ago as he played soccer one time with a group of international men: Somali men can jump into pickup soccer games with others, but no one jumps into Somali pickup games. Aaron obeyed that rule for far too long, thinking it was a rule from within the Somali culture that would be offensive if ignored.

When Aaron asked to join their game, he was greeted with a warm welcome. Soccer is a common language spoken the world over: there are hotheads and cool cukes, guys who dive at the slightest bump and guys who argue with the referee about a call. Aaron immediately recognized the soccer culture he knows and loves and found the camaraderie he missed as the language barrier and cultural differences faded into an unimportant background.

That evening of rule breaking turned into a pivotal moment in our house. Aaron returned home delighted that he had earned the nickname Coach, both because he was old enough to be a father to some of these young men and because his years as a soccer coach couldn’t help but resurface. The majority of these young guys were self-taught, and that summer of pickup games slowly developed into mutually treasured friendships. Aaron now has a community of soccer friends—something he had missed intensely back when we first moved to central Minnesota—and they get an informal soccer mentor who can make gentle suggestions to refine their techniques and skills.

Loving our neighbor requires thoughtfully reconsidering which “rules” we have been obeying without thought, rules that ought not to be rules because they serve only to keep us from meeting one another and forming friendships that cross cultural and language boundaries. It is so, so simple. Why do we allow it to feel so hard?

— Julie

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

What cultural “rule” do you need to reconsider and possibly ignore? Prayerfully break it and watch God move.