Fitting In

Fitting In

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Growing up, I often became a chameleon to fit into my surroundings. I tried playing basketball but was so timid that I never had a foul called on me during the entire season. I played the clarinet for years—and spent hours practicing, despite not really enjoying it—so that I could participate in marching band and take trips with my friends during high school summers. I was a statistician for wrestling—a sport I knew nothing about—because my boyfriend was a wrestler. I cut my hair like Rachel from Friends, wore Doc Martens look-alikes, and taped songs off the radio like all my friends did. Later, I wore studded bracelets and black T-shirts to punk-rock concerts because my college boyfriend liked the music.

It’s not that I ever fully altered who I was—I was still the same bookish girl who loved reading, action movies, and academics—but I often found myself subtly changing my preferences to suit those around me. Though I always had one or two close girlfriends to ground me, I floated among a few friend groups and enjoyed identifying with more than one group of people.

The problem was that I would oftentimes only let people see parts of me—the parts of me that were acceptable to them. In Romans, we’re told not to worry so much about fitting in with the world around us, but instead to focus on God’s truths and how they influence who we are and who we’re becoming. The truth is that in our ever-changing, always-striving world, the person the world tells us to be is constantly shifting. Jesus, in contrast, is unchanging—he is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Transformation can only come when we recognize our identity as beloved children of God.

When it comes to friendship, true friends admire each other, not for their changeability, but for their authenticity. Claiming our heritage as children of God and letting him transform us from the inside out is one of the best ways we can deepen our friendships.

— Kristin

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Thank a friend for their authenticity, and be honest with them in return.