Ghosting Or Grace

Ghosting or Grace

Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: “I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.” For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.

Emily and Jess served in the same church, and while they knew of each other, it was only in passing. Jess was a rising star, asked to speak in their church and other churches on a regular basis—until something happened, and she was dropped overnight.

Ghosting is breaking off a relationship suddenly and without explanation. I didn’t fully understand the concept until Emily cried while recounting the story of Jess’s experience in her church. She told me that because she was connected to Jess on social media, she saw Jess’s angry posts about being abandoned by people she once thought were friends. My friend felt wretched and uncertain about what to do, if anything. As I thought about Emily, Jess, and the women who had warmly embraced Jess before suddenly distancing themselves from her, other instances of what I now recognize as ghosting crept into my consciousness.

When people get messy, fail in a very public way, or admit to a crisis of faith, there can be a mad scramble as Christians distance themselves from the sinner, as though sin is an infectious disease they might catch. And while sometimes that might be the appropriate response, it wasn’t Jesus’ response to sin. Jesus regularly shared meals with those the religious elite of that day had ghosted—or worse yet—had never bothered with in the first place.

Jess’s experience came to mind when I found myself visiting with Candace, the daughter of a pastor who—decades ago—had a very public fall from grace. Candace spoke of the one (and only) fellow pastor in their denomination who had reached out to her dad and her family during that hard time. He brought love, mercy, friendship, and hope when everyone else had disappeared. He offered mercy and redemption to her father. Today, Candace is a woman who is faithfully serving God in a number of ways, and it was his influence that kept her heart turned toward God when she might have turned away during that difficult time.

The difference between those two stories has stayed with me when I’m confronted with the choice of responding to a friend’s bad choice. We can make an impact on the lives of hurting people—if we reach out to them with grace.

— Julie

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Reach for grace wrapped in loving accountability instead of ghosting when friends have sinned.