Protecting Your Loved Ones

Protecting Your Loved Ones

Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

Holly Ball is the fanciest annual gala in my community. A fundraiser for our hospital’s hospice and cancer centers, it is an opportunity to dress in tuxes and glittering gowns as everyone mingles and dances in our event-center-turned-bejeweled-wonderland for an evening.

As Aaron and I waited in line for an appetizer among the glitz, we chatted with Carissa and Mark—a couple around our same age and stage in life. We caught up on kids and work and what was new since we had last seen one another. It didn’t take long to notice that Carissa’s comments were laced with an undercurrent of derision as she jokingly revealed minor but unflattering truths about Mark. His responses were defensive and slightly derisive in return—which left Aaron and me feeling awkward and casting about for neutral topics to diffuse the tension as we silently plotted our escape.

Because I am a woman writing to women, I’m going to address the female half of that relationship while fully acknowledging that he was not an innocent victim. It was clear that her negative slant in conversation about her spouse was not a one-time occurrence, and she is far from alone in this conversational trap. I regularly run across female commentary in break rooms, church lobbies, moms’ groups, and on social media in which exposing a husband’s (or a friend’s) less than flattering characteristics acts as fodder for casual conversation.

As women who love Jesus, we are to bring good to our husbands, our loved ones, and our friends with the words we speak—not harm. Guard the words you speak about your husband and your marriage in casual conversations, and don’t expose his idiosyncrasies to acquaintances. The same goes for friends. Don’t expose your girlfriend’s weaknesses to others the moment she walks out of a room. Let’s be women who call out the best in our loved ones, who share stories painting them in a favorable light, who build them up—especially when they are not present.

— Julie

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Practice calling out the very best qualities in your spouse and in your other friends to those around you, both when that person is present and when he or she is not.