Providing Wise Counsel

Providing Wise Counsel

A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.

“I need to talk to you about a divorce,” Sheila whispered, her words faint across the phone line.

As a practicing attorney, I didn’t find those words particularly shocking, but I was dismayed to hear them nonetheless. Sheila, a friend from church, was in the midst of several hard parenting years, and she and her husband were struggling. Their teenage son had arrived home after a misstep of epic proportions, and her husband had not handled it well.

After Sheila finished, my questions began. I asked about physical and emotional abuse, about what else might be happening behind the scenes. Once I had confirmed that no abuse was occurring, it became clear that Sheila’s call was a direct result of her son’s mistake. Sheila was reeling from her son’s actions and was in crisis; her husband was also in crisis; and their son was actively driving a wedge between his parents—whispering into his mother’s ear that she should divorce his dad.

I gently asked Sheila whether she was talking to two other trusted women in our circle and whether she had told them how badly she and Joe were struggling. As fellow Jesus followers, wives, and parents, I knew they would give Sheila godly advice. Over the months that followed, these women repeatedly spoke truth to Sheila, pointing her back to God and praying with persistence over her entire family.

Now, several years later, Sheila and her husband are happily married. Their son is thriving, having survived his teen years despite some bad decisions along the way. With the help of godly counselors, Sheila and Joe came out of the crisis having grown closer rather than apart.

When Shelia wanted to hear that it was okay to walk away from her marriage, her friends loved her enough to tell her the truth. Then they wrapped around her, Joe, and their entire family with love and support. Sometimes, the best thing we can do for a friend in crisis is to speak loving truth as we also meet their needs through offers to watch kids, meet for coffee to listen without judgment, and anything else to help navigate a difficult season.

— Julie

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Most of us know someone who is struggling in their marriage, with parenting a teenager, or with some other difficult life circumstance. Actively wrap this friend in encouragement and support.