Pursuing Peace

Pursuing Peace

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

Several years ago, an acquaintance of mine and her best friend, a male, were watching a movie together at his home when the woman’s husband suddenly slammed his way through the back door, barreling into the room. The enraged husband had felt sure that he would find the two friends in a compromising position instead of at opposite ends of the living room, crunching on popcorn.

As the woman related the episode to several of us later that week, I didn’t say much, but I felt sympathetic toward the husband. His uncertainty over his wife’s friendship with another man was likely fueling his response toward the situation, but instead of taking his concern seriously, she seemed dismissive. Rather than responding in a way that helped defuse the situation and address his fears, she seemed to think he was being ridiculous—and told him so.

I don’t mean to say that she shouldn’t have been friends with someone of the opposite sex—in fact, there is a lot of value in having friends of both sexes. Whether they are coworkers, neighbors, or friends from church or the gym, friends who have varying perspectives on life can bring many benefits to our lives, regardless of whether they are men or women. But if you are married, as my friend was, it’s imperative to have open communication with your spouse and establish boundaries around friendships that you can both agree to follow. That way, there are fewer opportunities for misunderstandings—especially ones that can billow out of proportion.

It’s only when we are willing to openly shine a light on all of our friendships that we can live in peace with one another. My friend likely had the best of intentions in handling all of her relationships with integrity; she simply didn’t think her friendship warranted oversight from anyone else. But as Christians and friends who actively seek to notice the needs of those around us, we should always strive to consider the validity of others’ emotions, even if they differ from our own. Being sensitive to the needs of those around us is an essential ingredient in friendship, whether we are married or single.

— Kristin

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

If you are married or dating, have a discussion with your significant other about healthy friend boundaries.