Refusing To Compare

Refusing to Compare

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

Driving down the road with my mom, I couldn’t stop crying. As the miles rolled by, taking us inexorably closer to a wedding shower for a childhood friend, I tried every trick in the book to get myself to stop. But despite my best intentions, the tears continued to roll down my cheeks as I stared blankly out the passenger window.

My mom, used to my tears, finally broke the silence. “Honey, you need to stop crying, or we can’t go.”

I knew it was true, and I was embarrassed at my lack of control. But I just couldn’t help it. As a twentysomething college graduate, my love life was nonexistent, and I was juggling three part-time jobs. I had plans for my life, and none of them were coming to fruition. Instead, life felt like it had temporarily stalled out.

Although I was a little jealous of my friend’s happiness, I was mostly just ready for some happiness of my own. And though I eventually stopped crying, my self-induced pity party lingered.

It’s been years since that moment of misery, but the temptation to compare myself with others remains. It’s been said that comparison is the thief of joy, but when it comes to friendships, it robs us of much more. When we scroll through our social media feeds and find ourselves envious of other people’s vacations, beauty, possessions, or seemingly perfect children or jobs, we hurt ourselves in myriad ways. Proverbs says that a peaceful heart—one that’s truly content—is life-giving, while envy is like rottenness in our bones. Envy begins with us, but the ugly spillover often contaminates our relationships.

Do you feel like you’re in a season of life where you’re waiting on God or tempted to compare where you’re at with someone else? Take heart and refuse the temptation to compare yourself with others, especially friends. Though we may have good plans, unless they are God’s plans, they won’t be the best plans. His timing is perfect. And unlike ours, his best plans never fail.

— Kristin

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

When you’re tempted to compare your circumstances with someone else’s, resist the impulse, and meditate on God’s goodness instead.