Seeing The Stranger

Seeing the Stranger

You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the LORD your God.

“There’s a new exhibit at one of the art museums,” my classmate said offhandedly as we left class one night.

I finished shrugging into my backpack and turned to her, freeing my long hair from inside the collar of my heavy winter coat and pulling on my gloves.

“Would you like to go with me?” she continued.

Caught off guard, I hesitated, unsure how to respond. Between juggling a part-time job, a husband, a one-year-old daughter, and the never-ending mountain of homework I had to do for graduate school, I didn’t really want to say yes. I lived forty-five minutes from campus, and the idea of scheduling a sitter and driving into St. Paul for an extra day seemed like too much work.

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” I said politely. “Maybe some other time.”

I wasn’t unkind, but in retrospect it was a time when I failed at friendship. Ji was from Tunisia, studying abroad for part of her degree and quite possibly lonely in the sea of busy grad students. Unlike undergraduate classes, where students lived on campus and associated with other students, graduate studies consisted of evening-only classes full of working professionals with busy lives outside of campus.

As a young adult, I had not yet learned the value of caring for others outside my small circle of friends and family. Given my inward-focused life, I had never considered the mandate from Leviticus to love sojourners as we love ourselves as something I needed to practice. I was too caught up in the fullness of my own life to see the emptiness of hers. Although she asked me to spend time together once or twice more, I always said no, and we remained acquaintances.

Ji contacted me earlier this year to say hello. In the eight years since I last saw her, my perspective on intentionally welcoming those who may feel isolated or out of place had changed significantly. I was glad for the opportunity to remedy my earlier mistake and responded readily to her message. It was just the reminder I needed to always keep the circle of friendship open, seeing the stranger whom we can welcome in.

— Kristin

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Ask someone you’ve turned down in the past to spend time with you.