Supporting Our Sisters

Supporting Our Sisters

An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

“Honestly, you are one of the only white women I trust. You listen and try to do better instead of getting defensive or minimizing my feelings.”

Hearing my dear friend’s heartfelt words, I clutched the phone a bit tighter, trying to make up for the thousands of miles stretched between us, wishing we were face-to-face. My friend is a woman of color, and we were having a deeply honest conversation about race, interracial friendships, and what it was like for her to live in my Midwestern community’s predominantly white culture before moving to a diverse area of Washington, DC. Our friendship has given me a tiny glimpse into how frequently people react differently to her than they do to me, based solely on our skin color. I’ve learned to listen carefully to what she has to say about the ways in which our predominantly white society makes my life easier, even as it makes hers more difficult.

My friend explained that white women often say that they support women of color, but when offering support becomes uncomfortable, white women frequently say or do nothing. And because white women are part of the dominant culture, we can walk away, abandoning our sisters of color to navigate difficult situations alone.

As I reconsidered our conversation the next morning, I asked God if I was guilty of downplaying hurtful words because the speaker might not have intended to be racist, or brushing aside a racist joke or an insulting descriptor for a group of people because the person is “just that way.” Have I stepped back from the discomfort of conflict, avoiding correction because I literally don’t have skin in the game?

The conviction of the Holy Spirit is gentle but firm, calling us to repentance without shaming us for our sins, and I confess that I’ve abandoned my sisters of color a multitude of times in order to avoid even mild conflict with someone I love or people I work alongside.

My friend’s words about racial inequality have sometimes been hard to hear because their truth is undeniable, and her loving rebuke is well deserved. More and more, I hope to become a trustworthy friend to my sisters of color, defending and supporting them regardless of whether they are in the room.

— Julie

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal ways in which you’ve abandoned your faith sisters of color, and pray through how you will confront racist statements (overt or otherwise) from coworkers, family members, and friends.