Undoing Unease

Undoing Unease

Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.

As I visited with a new acquaintance at an event, I noticed a woman across the room who looked particularly ill at ease. Having been the secretly insecure new girl more than a time or two, I’d learned to recognize the signs in others, especially when the mingling involved slightly intimidating circumstances. I wrapped up my conversation and then approached the woman, introduced myself, and invited her to join my table during the event’s dinner.

Was it awkward? A little. Small talk with strangers is not my strong suit, and there have definitely been times when my friendly overtures have been rejected. I know very few people who love talking to strangers, especially when other, safe-from-rejection options are available. But I’m practicing the art of noticing unease and being the one to intentionally dispel it.

Do you know what I have discovered as I practice this uncomfortable (at least for me) habit? Interesting people with fascinating stories. When we part ways, I almost always find myself pausing to genuinely thank God for allowing me to hear that woman’s particular story or glimpse her particular journey. I usually walk away from the conversation enriched in some small way, finding a blessing of my own even as I try to bless someone else.

When we go about our lives trying to treat others how we want to be treated, we are both a blessing to others and blessed ourselves. It is so often in the pouring out of ourselves that we are filled up. I so love this truth about God, especially in a culture that touts self-care and self-love almost exclusively as an inward focus. While there are times and seasons in which pulling inward is healthy, I find God’s biggest blessings tend to come through the pouring out.

— Julie

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Start actively looking for a woman on the fringes of whatever event or group or place you are in, and engage her in conversation.