What’s Your Friend’s Name?

What’s Your Friend’s Name?

All of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.

From my cozy bedroom armchair, I could hear clattering schoolbags and shuffling feet as my children entered the main-floor mudroom. My two older daughters had participated in a community education swim-and-movie event that evening with other children from the area, and they had just returned home. Hair still damp, they shucked their coats and shoes and hollered out a hello.

“Mom, I made a new friend!” Noelle, my seven-year-old, said with a smile on her face as she entered the room.

“You did?” I asked. “What’s your friend’s name?”

“I don’t know,” she said, shrugging. As she wandered off to get ready for bed, I couldn’t help the smile that tugged at my mouth. As an adult, I can’t imagine claiming someone as a friend without asking their name. Yet this isn’t the first time that one of my children has told me about a friend they spent hours with but hadn’t bothered to ask their name.

As an adult, I often ask people for their names, occupations, and information about their family. Yet how often do my questions truly dip beneath the surface? I’m ashamed to say that there have been many times when my conversation doesn’t progress beyond small talk. Even though my children may not know their new friend’s name or how to contact them, they’ve spent time asking more thought-provoking questions. They can tell me that their friend loves sausage pizza but loathes pepperoni, thinks their older brother is annoying, and has a mutual love for unicorns.

As Christians, we’re told to sympathize with one another, but that depth of feeling only occurs when we are willing to ask the more profound questions—after all, you can’t truly love or be united with someone you don’t know well. By taking a genuine interest in others, we reflect Christ’s love into the world and our relationships deepen. It’s only by engaging with others beyond the surface level that we will experience the true richness of friendship.

— Kristin

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Ask a friend questions, listening to their response without turning the conversation to focus on your own answer.