When Obligations Get The Best Of You

When Obligations Get the Best of You

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

“We’d love to have you volunteer!” the librarian told me cheerily. As an introverted, bookish teenager, I had thought the library would be the perfect location for me to help out. My heart sank as she continued, “Are you good with technology? Or perhaps you’d like to read to someone? We always need volunteers for that.”

Since teaching technology wasn’t my forte, I swallowed hard, pushing aside visions of solitary bliss amid stacks of books and halfheartedly agreeing to read to someone.

I met Rose a week later. Small and wizened, she welcomed me inside, bright eyes peering out from a face framed by soft, white hair. Introducing myself, I tried awkwardly to increase the volume of my soft-spoken voice as we got to know each other. She had lived nearly a hundred years and had interesting stories to tell, but I was ever mindful of my reason for visiting and impatiently moved the conversation forward, asking what book she would like me to read.

“Oh, anything,” she said carelessly. We chatted for a few more minutes until I checked my watch, realizing with no small relief that our time together was up.

The next week I returned with Treasure Island. I’d never read it, and it seemed unobjectionable. But between the rhythm of my quiet voice and the snooze-worthy language of Robert Louis Stevenson, I quickly realized from Rose’s not-so-subtle snores that she had fallen asleep.

I should have thrown out the book immediately and spent our time together in the weeks that followed asking about her life, but instead I slogged through several chapters before I ultimately stopped returning to visit at all. Looking back, I wonder what would have happened if I had followed my instinct to seek a genuine connection rather than pushing through a book neither of us were interested in.

Sometimes we feel duty bound to do something, and it spurs impatience in our hearts. We’re called to be humble, gentle, and patient, but when we view relationships with people as obligations rather than opportunities, we miss out on experiences that could enrich our lives.

— Kristin

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Reach out to someone, not because you feel required to do so, but because of your genuine interest in them.