20,000 Words

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!

“And then . . .” I trailed off as I noticed Aaron’s gentle smirk. “Hey! You’ve been traveling, and I’ve been saving up my stories to tell you.” My smirk matched his own. “As you know, I have twenty thousand words a day to use, and I’ve been saving them all for you . . . !” I trailed off with a faked wicked laugh, my eyes twinkling at our long-running inside joke.

“Well, grab your iced tea and meet me by the smoker. You can use your words while I check the steak,” Aaron called over his shoulder as he headed out the door leading to our patio.

“Deal!” And off we went into the backyard, picking up my story where I left off.

Years ago, someone told us that women speak an average of twenty thousand words daily while men speak an average of seven thousand. More recent studies suggest this is a myth, but it’s still our jokey acknowledgment that I feel cherished when Aaron allows me to verbally process my experiences, looking for feedback on some occasions and simple commiseration on others. At twenty-plus years into marriage, we’ve learned to make allowances for one another’s idiosyncrasies, understanding that we have different requirements for feeling cherished. Instead of dismissing my need to chat, Aaron leans into it, just as I lean into what makes him feel loved.

Treating people in a way that makes them feel appreciated isn’t reserved for spouses. Coworkers, neighbors, extended family, the cashier at the store you frequent—all represent opportunities to let people know you see them for the person they are rather than for the role they play or for what they can (or can’t) do for you. It’s these small moments of leaning in that build harmonious relationships and community. God built us for communal living, and we thrive when we have a network of healthy connections who care about one another.

Instead of waiting to be invited into community, those who love Jesus are often called to build it for themselves and others. Thankfully, noticing and appreciating others is a low-risk, easy way to build community, even for those of us who are not natural extroverts.

Julie

Today’s Act of Gratitude

Who can you appreciate? Make it a regular habit to express your thanks to someone.