Tempted By Anger

A hot-tempered person starts fights; a cool-tempered person stops them.

Is this even the same lawsuit? Their versions of what happened are so radically different . . . did the clerk misfile the briefs? I turned back to the legal caption on the top of both parties’ motion arguments, comparing the names and the file numbers. Same captions, same case number. Nothing was misfiled. A bit bewildered, I gathered the documents and my legal pad, and I headed for Judge Hoolihan’s chambers—my boss and the judge who would be hearing this motion at the end of the week.

As a brand-new attorney, I firmly believed there were good and bad guys, liars and truth-tellers, and a legal system to sift fact from fiction and dispense justice. I didn’t know what to do when confronted with two stories around the same set of events that were different but not opposite. Both individuals’ interpretations of the facts could be the truth as they saw it, with neither being a liar. It was possible that neither side was the “bad guy” and that what we had before us was an unfortunate misunderstanding fueled by anger that had spiraled so out of control that lawyers and a judge were now involved.

I’ve often thanked God for the lesson I learned in that memorable-to-me case. It was my first experience with two “good” people who, through a series of escalating, angry miscommunications, found themselves pitted against one another in an emotionally exhausting and expensive lawsuit. Unfortunately, during my years in the legal profession, I saw dozens of such situations involving angry litigants but no true evildoers. Many times, people had assumed the worst about one another, and their angry, hurt responses served to inflame the conflict, eventually to the point of litigation.

While anger is a legitimate emotion that even Jesus felt, it is powerfully destructive when we allow it to dictate our actions. Scripture exhorts us not to cede control and respond in rage. We cannot see clearly at these times, and we make decisions harmful to ourselves and others. I counseled incensed clients to wait at least twenty-four hours before communicating with the other party or taking action, allowing time for their anger to dissipate and for rationality to return. It’s been so successful that I’m committed to the same rule for myself.

Julie

Today’s Act of Gratitude

Do you currently find yourself feeling upset with someone? Adopt the twenty-four-hour waiting rule when anger has you in its grip. Intentionally spend time thanking God for wisdom, discernment, and clarity as you wait, prayerfully asking the Holy Spirit how best to respond.